I’ve been to movies that didn’t run as long as Big Guy’s Galesburg Address.
And like many movies, this turned out to be one of those unfortunate sequels that really didn’t need to be made. You know, like Transformers 2, 3, and 4? And probably 1.
It was like a campaign speech in search of a campaign. And a crowd:
Like most sequels, it contained a lot of retreaded ideas that you would have sworn had already been milked for all they were worth the first, second and third time around. Butt because people always go with the familiar, they keep repackaging those old worn out ideas and reselling them as new.
So in case you missed the speech, don’t worry: you’ve already heard it: starting with a run down of everything Big Guy’s already done for you.
This was followed by a list of all the things he wants to do for you, butt can't, because of the villains in this sequel: Washington. Let me be clear, not Big Guy; although he’s “in” Washington, he’s not “of” Washington. We’re talking about the Republicans in the do-nothing Congress, who are fighting him on every front.
“With an endless parade of distractions, political posturing and phony scandals, Washington has taken its eye off the ball. And I am here to say this needs to stop.”
Got that? There will be no more gambling going on in this establishment.
Then he wrapped up by listing for the umpteenth time some of those things the do-nothing Congress is preventing him from “investing” your money in: education, high-tech manufacturing, green energy, high speed trains and broadband. Things like his U.S. Housing and Urban League “Strong Cities, Strong Communities” initiative which apparently launched in Detroit.
Detroit: inspiration for the “Strong Cities, Strong Communities” initiative.
And he spoke of the good deeds he would do if only the do-nothing Congress would get out of the way so he could clean up this mess. For example, by passing
amnesty comprehensive immigration reform in order to create more jobs. And he advised the crowd that if the do-nothing Congress refuses to invest in his new Transformer 5 sequel, he’ll don the superhero suit himself and smite them with his mighty pen: that’s right,“executive action.”
So take that, you lazy–no-good-elected representatives. We have a mandate. We’re on a mission from…well, okay, not God, butt we’re definitely on a mission, and we’re not going to let that old Constitution stop us!
What is that saying again, about doing the same thing over and over again butt expecting a different result? Yeah, I think we’ve nailed that.
Maybe what we really need in Washington are some new villains because the old ones are getting kind of boring. And maybe some new “heroes” too.
Hey! I know! How about a remake Lawrence of Arabia? Only this time T.E. Laurence could be played by a black Muslim instead of Peter O’Toole? If we must rewrite history in order to level the playing field, give everyone a fair shot and a fair shake, so be it.
“The trick…is not minding that it hurts.” – Lawrence of Arabia
Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network