As Obama advised his fan club from the Situation Room (PBS’s and CNN’s, not Val-Jar’s) last night, we’re definitely, going to do something; maybe.
“We are saying, uh, in a clear, uh, and decisive, uh, but very limited way we sent a shot across the bow saying “stop doing this” that could have a very positive impact on our national security in the long term…”
A “shot across the bow;” a clear, decisive and very limited response…butt we’re not interested in regime change. Wow! It sounds like Big Guy’s gone from a pout to a full-out frown with somebody in Syria’s use of chemical weapons.
I’m wondering if he might be interested in making that “perfectly clear” because so far, it’s about as clear as a double espresso. And it’s the sort of action that’s been know to start World Wars when major military powers are lined up on opposite sides of the equation. You know, like we do now.
So stand by: action figures to follow. The Commander-in-Chief, who never liked it when others played with them, is playing with his war toys again. And a harsh stare is sure to follow.
One U.S. official who has been briefed on the options on Syria said he believed the White House would seek a level of intensity “just muscular enough not to get mocked” but not so devastating that it would prompt a response from Syrian allies Iran and Russia.
Could I make a few recommendations, given the objective? First I’d advise against using the Star Wars light saber. While it does look awesome wielded by the CIC,
once it’s knocked out of his hands by one little karate chop, it leaves the Big Guy looking, well, let’s just say than presidential.
Now a marshmallow cannon, on the other hand, may be just the ticket:
It’s the MP007 marshmallow cannon. It makes a big noise butt lands with a soft thud that startles the enemy. And so simple even a caveman can use it:
Butt wait! I’m not done yet! If a harsher statement is required, the MP007 can easily be converted to a fully operational potato cannon! That’s right: it uses 100% renewable ammo. And Lady M has indicated a willingness to convert her organic Garden of Good and Evil to the production of ammo for this just war, if need be.
Immediately the anti-potato war squad expressed their displeasure with Big Guy’s plan.
Even potatoes’ greatest enemy has weighed in (so-to-speak) on the potential potato attack:
I feel compelled to remind everyone however that the enemy will most likely be outfitted with more conventional weapons.
So, while we’re waiting for the Constitutional Law Professor to sort out the constitutional requirements of going to war without Congress’ authorization allow me to provide a brief recap of the highlight from yesterday’s MLK memorial: Lady M’s new frock: an embellished Tracy Reese original in scarlet and black.
“Embellishments” include beaded flowers,
a small back bow and black crinolines.
And as many of you have noted, Lady M has now officially lost the “bangs” due to increasing sensitivity to the drums of war that are pounding along the Potomac. Developing…
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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network