Monday, October 14, 2013

Shutdown Day 14: All the Plants are Gonna’ Die!

I interrupt my train of thought regarding things that have fallen down the rabbit hole around Washington to bring you this urgent announcement:   It is with a heavy heart that I advise you of a government shutdown that will have a deep and lasting impact on your lives: LADY M’S ORGANIC GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL IS WITHERING ON THE VINE!

That’s right, thanks to the Tea Party Anarchists (TPA) who’ve closed down the government, Lady M’s entire organic crop has been barrycaded and is being guarded round the clock by the handful of National Park Service employees assigned to Big White that haven’t been furloughed.

pristine toms and herbs a year ago copyTomato and basil bed, day one of the barrycade

Although the impact wasn’t immediately apparent, 14 days into the barrycade, the horrible, horrible ramifications of this willful neglect have grown painfully obvious:

shutdown day 9 toms and basil gone native copyBy day 14 the awful reality sets in: yellow, withered vines, moldering vegs.

Nobody is allowed in to rescue the rotting tomatoes, the mildewing zucchini, the molding eggplants. Hundreds of pounds of organic veggies going to waste: all because of the TPA.

As you can see, Lady M is beside herself with grief, as BO announces there is no news to report in the ongoing negotiations with the hostage takers.

sad mo_thumb[2]

Mo did her best to comfort the young gardeners who arrived in Washington yesterday to demonstrate against the heartless government shutdowns.

she gave her al sharpton hair away

Butt it looks like there will be no 5 pound sweet potatoes for this year’s annual photo op - we’re leaving them to the worms this year. Real worms, I mean; in the ground.

Screenshot Studio capture #1403

No giant peacock fennel harvest either:


And you know how much we love peacocks around here:


President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden talk before the start of the Kennedy Center Honors at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C., Dec. 6, 2009.  (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

Seriously, this shouldn’t surprise anyone. We’ve known the Organic Garden of Good and Evil could be a useful target for our the Tea Party’s propaganda campaign since spring:

bo and harry in the garden of good and evilBO and Harry walking tomato alley earlier this year, plotting discussing  shutdown strategy

It’s just all so sad. As I stand in this magnificent White House, gazing out my tiny window in my tiny bunker at the back of Lady M’s closet, all I see is rot and decay everywhere. It’s  as if it’s a metaphor for something else...oh, yeah, Detroit!

detroit ren cen

Trying to put as positive spin on this as I can, I did think of one bright spot: we’re going to have an awesome pile of compost this year!


Although I’m hard pressed to see how we really need anymore of that.

So I hope the TPA is happy, now that they’ve killed all the plants. Heartless bastards. 



u_s_first_lady_michelle_obama_holds_a_bean_harvested_from_vegetables_grown_in_her_garden_at_the_white_house_in_washington_june_16_2009Eat your own damn peas

original garden pictures via Obama Foodorama

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network