Saturday, May 31, 2014

“Heck of a job, Carney!” You too, Ricky S.

The President’s official Press-mouth and surrogate whiner, having grown as much as he could in this job, has left his post to pursue more lucrative opportunities.


He’ll be replaced by a Press-mouth with an even more impossibly perfect Press-mouth name: “Josh Earnest.” Tell me this guy wasn’t born with a silver-tongued destiny in his mouth. Since Josh has been serving the WON since 2007, you can expect a smooth transition.

earnestobamaMr. Earnest, surrendered his personal integrity in 2007 and never looked back

Maybe he can at least see to it that Big Guy gets important news prior to reading about it in America’s Newspaper of Record.

josh bo jayJosh, Bo and JJ: as I’ve mentioned before, they all look like game show hosts to me. Different show, same game.

And speaking of changing the palace guard, it became painfully apparent sometime during this past week that heads would have to roll at the VA. The phony scandal situation finally reached critical mass - i.e. it came to light that you can now get a sex change operation funded by Medicare but you still can’t get a diagnostic colonoscopy at the VA - and needed to be addressed from the top.

In announcing that General Shinseki was unexpectedly falling on the sword, BHO stepped up to the plate to bunt:

“It is my Administration and I always take full responsibility,”

he told the Press Corpse, before deflecting blame back to George W. Bush.

We don’t have a permanent replacement for the General yet, butt his interim replacement is another natural: deputy secretary Sloan Gibson. Is that a great name or what? Sloan. 

ferris-bueller-cast11Sloane: What are we going to do?
Ferris: The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"

No, wait...that’s the wrong Sloan.

And Sloan looks enough like Steven Carrel to be his doppelganger; with that name and those looks he would make a great boss. Or at least he could play one on TV.

sloan carrel sloan carrel 2Wow! Even I can’t tell them apart.

So that’s it for this week:  We’re going to miss Jay Jay, the only man in the country who made Robert Gibbs’ 2 year run as press secretary look, um, not that bad. And good luck to Josh, who, having already served as BO’s campaign press secretary is uniquely qualified for the job requirements of Presidential Press-mouth: he’s already an “intellectual sociopath.”

So, buh bye Jay-Jay:

awkward jay boMost awkward man-hug-kiss in the history of  presidential man-hug-kisses

I’m pretty sure the best is yet to come for you.

pajama boy jay carney

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