Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Chopstick Diplomacy: Parts Unknown

Remember the weighty advice Barry had for the presumptive Republican presidential nominee a few weeks back? “…the presidency “is not entertainment — this is not a reality show.”

Boy, we wish that were so.

However, during his recent FEAT (Far East Apology Tour) Barry Obama appeared with Anthony Bourdain for a taping of his show - Parts Unknown, a CNN foodie travelogue.

obama bourdain vietnamThe foodie and the druggie shared a lunch of bún chả and beer; Tony praised Barry’s chopstick skills and picked up the tab.

In case you’re not familiar with Tony, he’s the former chain smoking, coke sniffing, heroin addicted NY chef, foodie writer and documentarian. I liked him in his first TV incarnation - A Cook’s Tour - as a jaded wise cracking ex-chef who visited other peoples kitchens in interesting locales and ate what they cooked. Then he moved to the upper West Side and has been intolerable since. He turned into a snide, hypocritical, liberal – butt I repeat myself - TV food celebrity. Instead of being funny now he’s just ironic.

middle-finger.bourdain pg

Not surprising then that Bourdain recently voiced his opposition to Trump’s candidacy, saying that if he actually was able to deport the 11 million illegal aliens in the country “every restaurant in America would shut down.” I guess restaurant work must be one of those jobs Americans just won’t do. I wonder why so many American kids are paying good money to go to culinary school then.

Anyway, I asked myself what American President would want to appear on Parts Unknown, Tony’s smug show that travels around the world bashing America. Butt of course that’s obvious: a smug American President who travels around the world bashing America.

And as far as the presidency not being entertainment, not being a reality show – well,judge for yourself. Here’s a list of Barry’s appearances, so far:

American Idol

Myth Busters (2 times)

Ellen (4 times)

The Colbert Report (3 times)

The Daily Show (7 times)

Running Wild with Bear Grylls

Charlie Brown Christmas

Shark Tank

David Letterman (9 times)

Steve Harvey

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifinakis

Tonight Show with Jay Leno (6 times)

WWE Pro Wrestling (3 times)

Oprah (3 times)


The Apprentice

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Conan O’brien (2 times)

Last Comic Standing

Jimmy Kimmel Live (2 times)

If Hillary doesn’t make it all the way to the gate I think maybe Tony would be a good stand in. He’s got a lot of the Democratic presidential prerequisites these days: effete snob, check, ex- druggie, check, TV ready, check, America basher, check. And he’s pretty good with chopsticks too.

bourdainEeeuw! What is he eating?

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network