Thursday, April 12, 2018

#ThrowbackThursday: Embrace the Suck

Silly me; I thought all the new, jazzy paper straws showing up everywhere from Ikea to Walmart were strictly a party fashion trend to help you coordinate your dinnerware with your beverage containers.


I should have known better; as it turns out it’s a sign that the sun is setting on the plastic straw, a commodity that has proved itself to be, like the plastic grocery bag, problematic, polluting and worthy of our shunning despite its inherent utility.paper straws 3

Apparently there is a world-wide effort afoot to remove these menacing instruments of the suck from public life. The movement started in Britain and moved to Australia before making landfall in California  - the forerunner of all things good and holy in this country as we were told the other day. From California the bans will spread across the land, eventually vanquishing the evil, one-use plastic straw.

Of course you won’t be able to switch to paper straws without proper instruction:

paper straw

But I say why stop there? Why not require people to bring their own, reusable straw if they want to suck? They come in glass, stainless steel and bamboo, all washable and fully recyclable.

glassdharma02 reusable strawsstainless steel strawsbamboo-straws travel packSome even come with their own cleaning implement and travel case!

Don’t get me wrong: there was much to like about the old fashioned soda shops:

rockwell--august--soda-fountain“August at the Soda Fountain”

But soggy, chewed up paper straws were not on the Top 10 list. Nevertheless, looks like this environmental train has left the station so my advice is to stock up on a life-time supply of the deadly plastic straws now, before they go the route of the incandescent lightbulb.

suck it up bc

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