Sunday, September 16, 2018

The Post-Normal $ocialist: Oca$io-Cortez

There’s been quite a buzz about Alexandria Oca$io-Cortez rocking a $3,500 Gabriela Hearst, new $ocialist worker’s uniform:

alexandria ocasio cortezThe New People’s Uniform

To be fair, AOC has been rockin’ socialist uniforms ever since she was a wee one:

brown shirts

And socialist workers have always had uniforms, although in the past they’ve been a bit drab and utilitarian:


But in the 21st century, they’ve been replaced by a modern, somewhat saucier, look for the contemporary worker. Minus the guns of course, because Democratic Socialism is peaceful. At least at first.

3S_WJDZkTORgrMcmUATjGxNrv5pfZS_0YusYdgCCj0UGirlfriend iz workin’ it!

If you’ve been around for a while, you will remember that it was our first historic, black FLOTUS who started this transformation. Here’s Lady M rockin’ the new garden worker uniform featuring Jimmy Cho motorcycle boots ($1,000.00):


But AOC wasn’t about to take all this criticism aimed at her true authentic socialist self sitting down, no sir, she’s fighting back like a girl:


What the heck is a “lewk” you ask? Well, I looked it up for you: To use the term of art, a lewk is a personal style signature so individual it’s almost indivisible from you.”  So, like I said, a uniform. One for photo-shoots and one for real werk.

side-by-side copyThe “lewk” for the New,Post-Normal $ocialist Workers 

I don't matter, you don't matter
Neither does this mindless clatter
It don't matter where you're from
What matters is your uniform

Wear your braces round your seat
Doctor Marten's on your feet
Keep your bonnet very neat
For credibility on street

We are marching as to war
We won't be obscure no more
In uniform, in uniform…

It seems insane
But heaven knows
It's all the same
And I need new clothes