Monday, August 5, 2019

Well Butter My Biscuits!

I knew it! Citizens in countries with more butter are happier. 

Image result for butter croissantOf course they are!

Image result for lobster melted butterEven lobsters are happier with butter

The article graphs countries’ happiness index against their butter availability and shows a clear, statistical link between self-reported levels of life satisfaction and per-capita butter supply. Interestingly, I note that the journalistic community that normally doesn’t bother to note, let alone question, the difference between causation and correlation in other crackpot “studies” they report on takes the trouble to ask here “is it causation or correlation?” Their skepticism kicks in only when one of their touchstone beliefs like “fat is bad” or “Orange man bad” is challenged.

Here is my own, off the top of my head, recollection of things the experts have once deigned either good or bad for us, but have subsequently changed their minds about (in some instances twice): coffee, eggs, salt, saturated fats, butter, nuts, potatoes, carbohydrates, whole milk, coconut oil, red meat, red wine, chocolate, baby aspirin, multitasking, plastic bags, toilet paper….

The take away for today: if butter makes you happy - and why wouldn’t it? - eat more of it.

Image result for butter cow The Ohio State Fair Butter Cow

In fact, why don’t we just ship all of our surplus butter to Guatemala, Nicaragua,  Syria, Iran, and every other ‘sh*thole country that wants to invade and/or destroy us. Maybe if they’re happier they’ll just stay home and make their own countries great. And if that happens maybe all the illegal aliens in our midst will go home.

Related imageET, in butter

Now forgive me while I go enjoy a Canadian butter tart with my covfefe.