Friday, November 15, 2019

Jane: So Strong, So Brave

About mid-week I realized I hadn’t been assailed with a picture of Hanoi Jane last Friday being escorted away in her red coat, hands restrained by zip ties.

Arrested development: week 3

I thought I had read she vowed to be arrested every week through the end of the year as part of her principled protest against her latest boogey man, Climate Change. She seemed convinced that doing so would ensconce her in the freedom fighters hall of fame and cement her legacy of fighting for world peace. So naturally I wondered what had happened to her last week.

I discovered she was in Washington D.C., again in her red coat, again leading the cheer team, again demanding we give up our way of life and enact the Green New Deal because we only have 11 more years. Imagine my surprise then to learn she had stepped away from the fray, literally, to avoid being arrested. It turns out she did not wish to disrupt her way of life too much while demanding that you do just that.

Week 1: righto, we don’t need any new fossils

For the fifth straight week, Jane Fonda led a throng [ed. in liberalese that’s defined as more than a dozen but less than a gross] of climate change protestors in Washington, D.C. But unlike the previous instances, the actress avoided arrest.

According to reporter Ted Johnson…Fonda left early. "Jane Fonda has now left, but gave a big hug to Ben and Jerry before she did," he reported via Twitter.

Speculation for the early departure revolved around Fonda being potentially slapped with a longer stay in jail after racking up a number of misdemeanors in a short amount of time. Last week, she spent the night in jail after her fourth arrest. She reportedly faced weeks this time around.

You see, here’s the inconvenient truth: as Jane explained to The Hollywood Reporter earlier last week, getting arrested for the 5th time would be quite inconvenient for her:

Fonda spoke about her night in jail and plans for her fifth week of demonstrations "I have to be careful not to get to a point where they're going to keep me for 90 days because I have to begin preparing for “Grace and Frankie” in January. So I'm not going to get arrested every time. They give you three warnings and so I will step away at the third warning," she said.

For the uninitiated Grace and Frankie is a Netflix series about a group of sex-obsessed 80-somethings (Jane, Lily Tomlin, Sam Waterston, Martin Sheen) who were once two married couples but are now divorced as both of the women’s husbands had both been carrying on a 20 year relationship – with each other. Season one actually showcased the surprisingly funny premise quite well but it went straight downhill from there. Put it on your DO NOT WATCH list.

Image result for grace and frankieFrankie and Grace, doing what they do best

I should note that the show must have many fans as it will film its 7th season early next year – assuming none of the octogenarians croak or are incarcerated before then.

Image result for grace and frankieThe boys: doing their bit to carry Hollywood’s gay agenda into the daylight for all to enjoy

Also in fairness I should likewise note that Jane doesn’t care as much about the environment as she does her fans…and her TV legacy. So while she will continue to show up for her Friday Climate Shows, she will no longer be photographed being handcuffed and hauled away. Instead, she will show up in a red coat, black hat and passionately implore us as the consummate hypocrite she is, to do as she says, not as she does.

Pictured: Fonda holding a 'Fire Drill Fridays' protest poster while marching in Washington, D.C. on FridayThe sun is not your friend, dear.

And still the media fawns:

First of all, how are you holding up?

I'm good. I'm just on the train headed back to D.C. from New York.

What have been your living arrangements through all of this?

I've gone back and forth to L.A. and New York a few times for speaking engagements. But other than that I've basically moved to D.C. for four months. The climate is an urgent crisis.

Just not quite as urgent as the next season of her Netflix gig.

But don’t worry, Jane has a plan: she wants Congress to cut the military budget and use it to fund the Green New Deal. She launched this bold agenda at last week’s “Fire Drill Friday alongside Ben & Jerry’s co-founders, Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield  - who have been “very anti-military” for decades, as if that’s a good thing. They may have stood with Jane, but they too “stepped away” at the third warning, preferring not to spend the night in jail. But remember, “the climate is an urgent crisis!”

With the level of commitment demonstrated so far I don’t expect any interesting arrests - or indeed anything of import – to transpire in D.C. today, either on the steps of the Capital where the Friday Fire Drill team likes to hang out or in the kabuki theater being conducted inside.