Strictly No Elephants

The wicked flee when no man pursueth; but the righteous are bold as a lion. – Proverbs 28:1

Yes Virginia, there is an anti-Trumpest movement. It exists as certainly as hate and fear and malevolence exist and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest sense and purpose. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no anti-Trumpests! It would be as dreary as if there were no godless liberals. There would be no childlike faith in the State, no social justice, no delusional thinking to make tolerable this existence.

So as you see, we need the anti-Trumpests. We need them to designate Trumpests as domestic terrorists and unleash the liberal “army of citizen detectives” to root you out and turn the dangerous Trumpests in. They must be sent to reeducation boot camp where they will be deprogrammed and chipped before being allowed to return to the wild. From that point on they will be continuously monitored.

You doubt me? See here for yourself: “Elephants counted from space.”

And all the laborious elephant counting is done via machine learning - a computer algorithm trained to identify elephants in a variety of backdrops. [ed. Thank you Google!]

"We just present examples to the algorithm and tell it, 'This is an elephant, this is not an elephant,'"Dr Olga Isupova, from the University of Bath, said.

"By doing this, we can train the machine to recognise small details that we wouldn't be able to pick up with the naked eye."

Such as, they are not all white supremacists

Silly anti-Trumpests: you’re tracking elephants when in fact we are lions.

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

No Trumpests! Thank God! they live, and they live forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, they will continue to make glad the heart of mankind.

(With apologies to Francis Pharcellus Church and the New York Sun)