Monday, August 24, 2009

Black Dog Down

Well, Lady M decided to do a little shopping today on our “tony island retreat”. Things were going pretty well. No one asked FLOTUS what size she needed or anything.

We were strolling down South Summer Avenue when the next thing you know, someone behind us is shouting “Hey! Where’s that famous black dog?”

All of a sudden, 20 secret service guys have their Uzis drawn and the locals are diving to the sidewalk like frogs. Thanks goodness I had loaded all of the local fashion stores onto my 2 TB RAID array, and cross linked them with GPS coordinates (sorted by price point, hi to lo end – we’re only here a week).

So, when I heard “Black Dog” and it popped up in the top 5, it triggered an automatic “STAND DOWN” order to the SS agents’ Bluetooth headsets. “It’s just an expensive resort wear boutique!!!”, I radioed.


The SS guys relaxed as the poor shlub, who was just looking for an expensive island logo T-shirt to impress his neighbors, was released from a choke-hold. Lady M, still a little shaken by all the fuss, snarled in my direction, “resort to what, MF?”

I think BFF and I are going to have a little talk tonight. I’m putting in for my own vacation; a trip to the NASA Spa for a wax and polish.

After all, I did prevent a situation that would’ve required the Big Guy to go on television again and explain how the Secret Service agents had acted “stupidly”.