Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Dog Days in D.C.

Well, the dog days of summer are definitely upon us, and boy, there are tell-tale signs all over the place. Not even my mighty powers of trans-imaging and refraction can change this madness.

First, there’s all the booing and jeering going on at BO’s foot soldiers’ town hall meetings.  Some smart ass even wrote a sarcastic column saying hurtful things like this:

If Obama has his way, his health care plan will be funded by his Treasury chief who did not pay his taxes, overseen by his Surgeon General who is obese, signed by a president who smokes and financed by a country that is just about broke. What possibly could go wrong?

Things were getting so hot that the big dog himself had to go off to do a “controlled” townie in New Hampshire (of all places) to smooth things over.  And by all accounts it went well. And by all accounts, I mean ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and MSNBC.  They’ve reported that BO handled the pre-selected crowd beautifully and even managed to pull off one of those loaves and fishes things he’s so good at.

Anyway, besides that whole hubbub, there’s this annoying little gnat over at the phony Examiner blog site that keeps stoking the “Lady M is pregnant” rumor mill. Now I understand he’s even whispering that John Edwards is the father. Listen, if MO was pregnant, I’d be the first to know. We’d be spending all day trying on stretchy baby-bump hot tops and bottoms. And that’s not happening. We’re still working on the bikini quantum-imaging for the big Vineyard’s soirĂ©e.

And speaking of that, MO’s a little concerned that all this hoopla over health care might interfere with the family vacation plans. She’s definitely not  keen on the thought of angry mobs showing up at the shore. I mean what do you wear to a right-wing protest anyway?

I’m in charge of getting the summer reading list together, but so far Mo’s nixed anything about dieting (doesn’t need), fashion (doesn’t need) protocol (doesn’t need), and anything by anyone who’s ever appeared on a FOX news show. That leaves us with Saul Alinsky’s Rules For Radicals- still on Amazon’s top 100, thanks to MO and BO! Inherent Vice by Thomas Pynchon and Tom Clancy’s Op-Center: Mirror Image. If you have any other suggestions, please let me know.

rules for rads

I actually ordered a few hundred copies of Saul’s book, to hand out as favors.