Thursday, January 28, 2010

It’s the Economy, Stupid. And Health Care. And Terrorism.

I’m filing this as I wing my way back for the last few days of my official chip upgrade/vacation at the Sundance festival. I could see that I was needed in DC tonight for the the first post-partisan SOTU big read, and my work ethic chip required me to return to help out. But I still have tickets for more cutting edge movies made by a lot of Big Guy’s friends and supporters, so I’m flying back for the weekend. Don’t worry, I’m not going first class, that’s just for real important government employees, like EPA clerks. Sure, I’ll be tired, but sometimes serving your country requires sacrifice.

But let’s focus on the Washington circus. First, the big read: BO took the stage to explain why people are angry. I don’t know, if it were up to me I might have skipped that part because I’m pretty sure most people already know what they’re mad about. Either they don’t have jobs or are afraid of losing them; and/or they think they’re going to lose their current health care insurance in exchange for much higher taxes and much worse health care. And then a few of you out there, and you know who you are, are mad about our sloppy and stupid handling of terrorists who are trying to kill us in the name of their religion of peace. And you’re mad that we’re treating them like some punks who knocked off a party store.

Then BO went on to explain why none of the things people are mad about are his fault. It was either the Republicans fault, the Supreme Court’s fault, Wall Street’s fault or George W. Bush’s fault. He did take his share of the responsibility for not explaining more clearly to all you morons why his health care plan is best for you. That’s kind of like saying “ I don’t think you hear what I’m saying” when in fact you hear what he’s saying just fine, but don’t happen to agree with it. So if any of you morons out there have a better idea, let him know. Otherwise, just shut up, sit down and get out of the way.

ruth ginsbergSupreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg hangs her head in shame at Big Guy’s criticism of their decision on campaign financing.

Man! Being leader of the free world turns out to be really hard, especially if some of your sheep refuse to follow the shepherd. And it’s even harder to appear like you’re accepting responsibility for the mess, without taking the blame, unless you have a whole lot of other people to blame things on. I’m not sure about this, but I think if I were Timmy I’d start working on that resume.

timmyTimmy as he realizes he’s in really big trouble

Now for our fashion review: BO wore his Candy Land tie: a symbolic act to indicate his solidarity with you in your pursuit of locating our missing Candy Land King.

this big The Candy Man

Lady M was in the chambers, seated next to a couple of officers of the law who Big Guy didn’t think act stupidly. They were among the first responders to the Fort Hood massacre, and as you can see, they are thrilled to be there.

waxReal people, not wax figures. Really.

For the occasion, MO chose a deep plum three quarter sleeved spandex unitard, wrapped with a coordinating deep plum taffeta bed skirt falling in loose box pleats. It’s an Isaac Mizrahi, doing his best to reintroduce classics.

Big Guy also did a couple of shout-outs to MO: one for her campaign to ban french fries and Little Debbies from school lunches, and again for her generous efforts in support of military families. I think she plans to send them all those banned french fries and Little Debbies.

232x148 Step away from the cupcakes. And just sit down.

Summary of the big read in a half dozen words or less: insincere, preachy, condescending, immature, petulant and smirky.

Geeze, if I’d wanted that I would have just stayed at the Sundance Film Festival.

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