Friday, June 18, 2010

From One Hole To Another Hole

Lady M update: she was last seen at a billionaire’s seaside villa in the LA area.


I can debunk all of the following rumors as untrue: Lady M is NOT pregnant with Al Gore’s baby; she’s NOT trying out for a remake of either (a) 77 Sunset Strip (b) Hawaii Five-0, (c) Baywatch, (d) 90210, (e) The O.C. or (f)  Real Wives of Washington D.C.. I can neither confirm nor deny the rumor regarding cosmetic surgery.

But now, back to the business of ruling the small People:  yesterday’s Congressional follies. Let me see if I have this right:  BP’s CEO accepted “responsibility” for the big spill and acknowledged an “obligation” to the people and places ruined by said “big spill",” but refuses to acknowledge “liability.” Wow! This guy would’ve made a great politician if he hadn’t decided to be a greedy capitalist pig instead. Big Guy can’t help but admire him a little.

arm twisterArm Twister-in-Chief, and


arm twisteetwisted arm

Then,in a strange twist, instead of Tony Hayward apologizing to America for destroying our coastline and fishing industries, Rep. Joe Barton apologized to Tony Hayward?  Sheeze, Joe, maybe you have a point, but talk about tone deaf! I guess it’s OK now, though, since Joe later apologized for his apology.

Am I missing something here? I know I’m due for system upgrades, but I’m quite sure my basic comprehension pack isn’t due for maintenance for another 6 months. Still, things are a little garbled. Here’s what I can make out so far: BP screwed up royally. But somehow Big Guy waived our long-standing rule of law and replaced it with his own infinite messiah-like wisdom and levied a $20 billion down payment towards total future damages – also to be determined by Big Guy: Barry’s Pay-As-You-Go Plan. I think it’s set up so that if BP doesn’t pay, Big Guy gets to put their assets into his own bottomless hole: the Obamacare fund. It’s a win-win.

extortionerExtortioner,  Chicago-style

 extortionee2 staying below the radar Extortionee, trying to stay beneath the radar

Meanwhile, Senate Democrats are also not resting until the hole is plugged: "One of the many lessons of the BP disaster is we can't afford to continue business as usual," said good old Harry Reid. Translation: never-let-a-good-crisis-go-to-waste.

So we’re going to cram through Big Guy’s Crap and Tax.

If you’re confused don’t worry, it’s just because you’re one of the small people of little brain. Here’s a simple explanation from one of your betters:

"The root problem is political contributions, oil lobbyists’ access, and the Supreme Court's recent approval of unlimited corporate campaign spending," 

according to John Bonine, a law professor at the University of Oregon.  “That's why getting off the oil economy will be so difficult, almost impossible.”

Uh,I know I’m just a high-tech mirror, but I think the real reason it will be so hard to get off the “oil economy” is because no one really knows how to heat and cool our buildings or fly airplanes with unassisted wind power.

But maybe we can replace our fighter jets* -

refueling 972005Hot_air_balloons_Albuquerque-sm


with hot air balloons. I think the Iranians will get a kick out of that.








But getting back to that part about the “Supreme Court's recent approval of unlimited corporate campaign spending:”  didn’t George W. Bush appoint John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supremes?

Case closed: this whole mess is GWB’s fault.

I’ll be glad when Lady M gets back. She’s easy compared to these wahoos.



*Lt. Col. James Hecker and Lt. Col. Evan Detein line up their F/A-22 Raptor aircraft behind a KC-10 Extender to refuel while en route to Hill Air Force Base, Utah. Photo taken by TSgt Ben Bloker.