The whole world is held in thrall as Congress pokes a tepid finger at America’s crushing debt burden while swinging a sledge hammer at the glass debt ceiling. If Big Guy thought Washington was “all wee-weed up” back in ‘09 over Obamacare, just wait till he sees what happens now that he’s brought his beer wagon to the debt ceiling garden party without thinking to have anyone order Porta-Potties.
I never thought I’d say this, butt maybe even Hilz could have maneuvered this swamp a little better, since she at least had some experience with glass ceilings, Big Guy’s really more of a door man. (I think Big Dawg may have even made a comment to the effect once.)
Specifically, Big Guy’s accustomed to having doors opened for him:
Butt things can sour on you quickly in this town, especially in this heat. Say, for example, people start refusing to open doors for you all of a sudden:
Hey! Come on man, open up! I live here. Stop acting stupidly!
Then you may find yourself locked out, on the wrong side of the door:
Yep, I see R-words in there talking budget cuts, butt I can’t get in there to explain why we need more “revenues.”
So Big Guy decided to consult with one of his favorite muses:
“ Yes. You have to deal with the R-words. It’s your job. I’ll walk you through this. Listen to me carefully Boo-Rock, grab the handle, turn and pull.”
OK, got it! What’s next?
“Well, you might want to let go of the handle once you’re through the doorway.”
“And remember Boo-Rock, physics is not your friend. So you might want to try bending a bit. You know - like you do for foreign leaders? That way the door won’t hit you on the way out.”
Irresistible force meets immoveable object
Of course there are some doors that present special challenges for special people:
compliments of Farside
Especially for people with little experience opening doors on their own.
Such mystery doors to mysterious places might even require special instructions:
“Uh…uh, this one doesn’t have a round knob. I wonder if my iPhone has an app for this.”
Let’s see, your spending exceeds your “revenues” by 3 trillion dollars. Do you choose door #1 or door #2?
“I was told there would be no math.”
As Big Guy’s favorite 20th century philosopher, Woody Allen, once noted, we stand at an important fork in the road: “One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”
Butt fortunately for Big Guy, he doesn’t have to worry about which fork to take anymore, because we’ve finally reached the end of the road.
Step away from the debt, and no one gets hurt!
“I’m warning you for the last time: Call my bluff and the N-word gets it!”
“It’s not about the money, it’s the amount.”
Linked By American Digest, Thanks!
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