Thursday, July 28, 2011

Hey Barack! We’re Ba-roke! or, “Through a Glass Door Darkly”

The whole world is held in thrall as Congress pokes a tepid finger at America’s crushing debt burden while swinging a sledge hammer at the glass debt ceiling. If Big Guy thought Washington was “all wee-weed up” back in ‘09 over Obamacare, just wait till he sees what happens now that he’s brought his beer wagon to the debt ceiling garden party without thinking to have anyone order Porta-Potties.

I never thought I’d say this, butt maybe even Hilz could have maneuvered this swamp a little better, since she at least had some experience with glass ceilings, Big Guy’s really more of a door man. (I think Big Dawg may have even made a comment to the effect once.)

Specifically, Big Guy’s accustomed to having doors opened for him:


Which allows him to slip through:

slip sliding away

Butt things can sour on you quickly in this town, especially in this heat. Say, for example, people start refusing to open doors for you all of a sudden:

damn doorHey! Come on man, open up! I live here. Stop acting stupidly!

Then you may find yourself locked out, on the wrong side of the door:

President Barack Obama looks through the Oval Office door peephole as his personal secretary Katie Johnson  watches 3/12/09.
Official White House Photo by Pete Souza Yep, I see R-words in there talking budget cuts, butt I can’t get in there to explain why we need more “revenues.”

So Big Guy decided to consult with one of his favorite muses:

President Barack Obama opens the door to welcome Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore, in the Oval Office, Oct. 29, 2009.  (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House. “ Yes. You have to deal with the R-words. It’s your job. I’ll walk you through this. Listen to me carefully Boo-Rock, grab the handle, turn and pull.”

OBAMA-OPENING-DOOR-largeOK, got it! What’s next?

 hold the door“Well, you might want to let go of the handle once you’re through the doorway.”

“And remember Boo-Rock, physics is not your friend. So you might want to try bending a bit. You know -  like you do for foreign leaders? That way the door won’t hit you on the way out.”

obama marine 1 doorIrresistible force meets immoveable object

Of course there are some doors that present special challenges for special people:

farside_push_pull_doorcompliments of Farside

Especially for people with little experience opening doors on their own.

Such mystery doors to mysterious places might even require special instructions:

obama door some instructions required“Uh…uh, this one doesn’t have a round knob. I wonder if my iPhone has an app for this.” 

Let’s see, your spending exceeds your “revenues” by 3 trillion dollars. Do you choose door #1 or door #2?

bo two ways“I was told there would be no math.”

As Big Guy’s favorite 20th century philosopher, Woody Allen, once noted, we stand at an important fork in the road: “One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”

Butt fortunately for Big Guy, he doesn’t have to worry about which fork to take anymore, because we’ve finally reached the end of the road.

don't jumpStep away from the debt, and no one gets hurt!

“I’m warning you for the last time: Call my bluff and the N-word gets it!”

raise the debt ceiling or i'll make you sorry copy“It’s not about the money, it’s the amount.”

Linked By American Digest, Thanks!