Monday, July 11, 2011

MOTUS Gets Mail: Special Big White Edition

Remarks of President Barack Obama
Weekly Address
July 9, 2011
Washington, DC

President Obama calls on both parties to come together to find a balanced approach to deficit reduction that lets us live within our means without hurting investments our economy needs to grow and create jobs.

Is it just me, or does this sound like a summer re-run to you too? I could have sworn Big Guy delivered this exact same weekly radio address a few months ago. And then again, a few weeks back. I think in politics that’s what’s known as staying on message.

And that’s why we “cancelled” our vacay to Montana - in order to “stay of message” regarding fiscal responsibility. And to meet with Congressional  leaders for 75 minutes on Sunday night. For some photo ops.

nan and john and bo and harry and mitch5 people meet to discuss serious issues.

No one wants to be on the wrong side of the table (the one without a camera lens pointing their way)

Butt I don’t think we’re making much progress. Big Guy says he won’t take “no” for an answer, and Harry says the R-words won’t take “yes” for an answer. Sounds like ‘heads I win and tails, you lose’ situation. For both sides. What fun!

Taxes seem to be a sticking point. Big Guy wants more of them from the filthy rich, and will explain why, yet again to you numbskulls, in a presser at 11:00.  Don’t worry this is still just the courtship. The wedding isn’t until July 22, or August 2. Or some future date mutually agreed on. And since neither the bride or groom is the least bit interested in sending their gifts back, expect to see a sham of a wedding ceremony.

wait waitOh wait! We invited more people! There’s Tiny Tim!

I’m just glad everyone went home last night because I was afraid Big Guy was going to pull an all-nighter like he used to in college (sans the doobies of course). But apparently there weren’t enough munchies stocked in the Big White’s healthy, organic, locally grown food pantry. Lady M beat him to the strategic reserve of sugary, salty snacks. That may be the real reason everyone went home early... for dinner.

Anyway, since Lady M is squirrelled away in her burrow, I decided to catch up on my email.


As you know, I haven’t had a chance to break out the MOTUS mailbag for quite awhile.  Butt today my pal Abby (you may know her: she writes advice columns for Liberals who can’t figure out what to do?) forwarded an email she received last week that she thought my readers might enjoy. And she thought even Big Guy may be able to learn something from it.

Dear Abby,

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and lets our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest.

Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more.

Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's hanging with Muslims.

Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath.

It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?

Signed, Lost in DC

  To which Abby responded:

Dear Lost:

Stop whining, Michelle. You get to live in the White House for free, eat like a Queen, run your vanity/fantasy “No Child’s Fat Behind” program and travel the world on our dime.

You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with the son of a bitch for the next year and a half! 

Signed, Abby

Well, if your husband had saved “about a billion jobs” and created a couple dozen, you could afford to live large too.

Screenshot Studio capture #128

Just too bad all billion of those jobs are in China.


Larwyn’s Linx on DougRoss@Journal, Thanks!