Obama: Magic Butt No Mathemagician

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I think we all know by now that numbers are not exactly el Numero Uno’s strong suit.

Heck, even the words that he and TOTUS are so well known for trip him up on occasion. Butt numbers – well, it’s like they’re just out to get him. Like that 57 state deal, the 10,000 people allegedly killed in Kansas, and the time he entered the wrong year in the Queen’s guest book.

It’s really not that big of a deal, think of it as a sort of numeric dyslexia. Unfortunately, it appears to be contagious since the House, Senate and the CBO all caught it when they were putting the cost of Obamacare together.

Like the real dyslexia, once you recognize what you’re dealing with, it can be overcome. Butt nobody around here, especially in our supportive media, wants to accuse the smartest man ever to be President of the United States of having a…ahem, numerical abnormality.

So that’s why, when he claimed yesterday that 80% of the public was behind him on increasing taxes, nobody asked, “uh, Mr. President, what poll, exactly, are you citing, sir?”

“The American people are sold,” President Obama said.

“The American people are sold, I just want to repeat that.”

Yeah, I’m not sure I would actually point that out though. I think the American people do know they’ve been sold. Along with their children, their children’s children, and their children’s children’s children. I can’t say for sure butt I have a feeling that’s one of the things that’s upsetting Big Guy’s apple cart.

“You have 80% of the American people who support a balanced approach. 80% of the American people support an approach that includes revenues and includes cuts. So the notion that somehow the American people aren’t sold is not the problem. The problem is members of Congress are dug in ideologically.”

Now I don’t want to act as a myth buster here, butt you can’t get 80% of the American people to agree on anything. Even the weather. When it’s raining.

So to claim that 80% of you agree that more taxes are a good idea doesn’t even pass the smell test. Our most reliably biased pollster couldn’t even muster up numbers to support that. Even over sampling (more than usual) the 47% of Democrats who pay no income taxes at all didn’t quite get us there.

So I think what our numerically-dyslexic Numero Uno meant to say was that 80% of you think we’re spending too much for what we’re getting. Which would explain why we’re seeing a lot more of this lately:

Mug shots from yesterday’s presser

And a lot less of this:

And when we do see that magical smile these days, it looks a little, well, forced.

Big Guy reacts to analysis of his claim that 80% of you have been “sold” on tax increases

Only 32% prefer a balance between spending cuts and tax increases, which added to the bottom option would still tilt the public far more in favor of spending cuts, 50/43.  Among independents — the most non-ideological group possible in this survey — it’s 51/41, a wider split. This is hardly a public that is “sold, sold!” on tax hikes.

And that’s just in the Gallup poll.  Two months ago, The Hill conducted its own poll that showed opposition to tax hikes  at 45%, with only 13% favoring an even split between tax hikes and spending cuts to solve the deficit problem, with another 11% supporting a 2/1 split for spending cuts to tax hikes, and 15% for a 3/1 split.  Even under the most liberal (pun intended) definition of “balanced,” only 39% in that poll opted for the idea.

Big Guy really hates it when facts rain on his parade.

“It’s not raining, I tell you. It’s just summer in Washington. You know, when everyone gets all wee-weed up?”