Saturday, August 27, 2011

Obama Gets a Historic Blow

Well, we’re home, butt we aren’t happy about it.

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Just 9 crummy days on the Rock. Hardly enough time to unwind, and now, here we are back to the daily Washington grind: work, work, work, jobs, jobs, jobs. Tedious.

Butt the big blow  beckoned us home in order to handle the pending national emergency. With all the bad press we’ve been wracking up lately, Pluff-Daddy insisted we get back and act like we’re in charge of getting the oceans to recede. And Axelrod – the doofus – got into it with Big Guy about whether Lady M could fly her own Air Force Won-Too jet home today instead of coming back last night with Big Guy.

Believe me, no one was more surprised than Lady M to find out that Axe-man won that argument. Nobody says “no” to Lady M. Those are just the rules. So that can mean only one thing: internal polling numbers look even worse than the ones published by Gallup.

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Following our own good advice:

“Don’t wait. Don’t delay. We all HOPE for the best, but we have to be prepared for the worst. All of us have to take this storm seriously.”

We don’t really need Big Guy to tell us that. 47% of the American people figured that out back in November of ‘08. Of course the “worse” turned out to be way worser than most people imagined; and no one seemed prepared for the aftermath of that storm surge.

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So let’s use that as a learning moment, people: get out now while we can still save ourselves!

Disaster plans that seemed adequate ahead of the disaster now appear puny and inadequate to stem the relentless force bearing down on America.

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Butt Big Guy has some additional advice on how to manage this emergency:

“So the more you can do to be prepared now, making a plan, make a supply kit, know your evacuation route,

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follow instructions of your local officials,

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the quicker we can focus our resources after the storm on those who need help the most,” Obama said. “All indications point to this being a historic hurricane.”

No argument there. Historic.

Anyway, we’re back in Washington to manage the emergency response to the Cat 4 Cat 3 Cat 2 Cat 1 hurricane about to hit our shores. Apparently, like everything else around here, it’s been significantly weakened and downgraded.

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Butt I know someone who isn’t going to be very happy about cutting our vacation short for a lousy Cat 1 hurricane.

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As is often the case with natural disasters and economic downturns, women, children and minorities were disproportionately impacted.

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If this storm surge continues to blow unabated, no one will be able to afford to stimulate the economy by purchasing  $156 tee-shirts for their workouts.

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And then we’ll all end up with fat behinds.

So stay safe my fellow Americans, and keep your powder dry!

H/T Doug Ross

Linked By: Bunni on Be Sure You’re Right...