Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Middle Class Warriors Workin’ for Change: at Home and the Middle East

Whew! My Technical Difficulties Have Been Repaired!

Early this morning, the engineers at Echo brought the comment system back online. The outage was system wide and knocked the Echo1comment system offline on all websites using it. Butt now we’re back in business. Please resume gratuitous snarking!

MAJOR UPDATE: PHOTO SNEAKS PAST EMBARGO!

Good News everybody! The road warrior is back! As a warrior for the middle class – because no one else is on their side. And they tend to vote.

As you know, the Mr. and Mrs. landed in New York on Monday to perform one of the most critical obligations of Big Guy’s presidency.

No, not to veto the UN’s vote to grant statehood status to Palestine. That’s being handled by someone else. Hillary maybe. In what has come to be Big Guy’s hallmark, he’s just going to give a big speech today and leave the details up to the rest of the little people at the UN (in this context, “little people” would include everyone other than Big Guy).

bo hill unIs there a body language expert in the room? I hope not too.

No, what I’m referring to is the far more important task of replenishing our war chest. No, not America’s war chest, I mean our war chest. Two DNC fundraisers yesterday: and what better way to get our Mojo back than sucking up the adulation of our groupies?

We may still have some work to do with our fan club in the Middle East though. It looks like we’re still having a failure to communicate there. I guess that Apology Tour for America in the Muslim world didn’t reap all of the benefits we were hoping for. I think Big Guy may have to do a Twitter Town Hall or something over there.

palestinians burn us flagPalestinians, unaware of Attachwatch.com, burn an American flag in broad daylight. And without the required environmental permits. 

So we’ve decided to focus on the positive! Back to our fundraisers. Where else could the Won’s go to reclaim that 2008 old black magic? Thank goodness there are still enough rich people left who can afford to pay a little bit more. $2500 – $35,800 per seat more, to be exact. Butt for their money they got two Wons and a really good show:

   bomo going in like we practicedbo mo smooch 9-20

We’ve practiced this over and over in front of a mirror (!)

bo mo totus embrace nyAh yes! Allusion and artifice! We aren’t the Wons by accident!

For Lady M’s part, she appeared at 2 fundraisers yesterday, the first one with the ladies who lunch.  Gloria Steinem, iconic feminist, not usually among the LWL crowd, was there to drop her dime into Big Guy’s pot. Odd, given all the talk about his, ahem, “woman problem” lately. Butt I guess he gets a pass because…well, I guess I don’t know why. I sure would hate to think it’s just a racist thing.

The really big show was last night though at Gotham Hall where America’s wealthiest millionaires and billionaires turned out to cheer on Big Guy’s class war against them. I don’t get that one either, butt maybe its because they heard BO say that “This is not class warfare - it’s math.” The way I’m programed to do math, the math doesn’t add up either, butt then, I don’t have a Master of Arts in Political Science with a certificate in political campaigning like some people do.

Anyway, back to the evening’s highlights, where Big Guy told the swooning crowd that they should contribute to he re-election campaign “right away”:

totus bo mo 9-20 ny2TOTUS, Big Guy and Lady M, declaring their allegiance to the Middle Class

Lady M and Big Guy had their best game faces on, coochie-cooing at each other about being “sexy” and “cute” and needing more “date nights” (ha!). And Big Guy really touched the crowd’s bleeding hearts when he lowered his voice and talked about being raised by a single mom (and grandma and grandpa) as “a little mixed kid in Honolulu.” You know we’re in full campaign mode when the audience needs to pack Kleenex.

Here’s a close up of MO’s famously toned shoulders and arms in her fashionable tuxedo vest. Unfortunately she forgot to pack the shirt and jacket that goes with it.

mo fundraiser ny 9-20"Are you ready for work? We all have to be fired up and ready to go."

I sure don’t want to be the one to tell Lady M that there are millions and millions of Americans who have been ready for work for 3 years now. They’re still waiting.

Big Guy, the Nobel Peace Prize winner of 2009, will be meeting with Benji and Abbas later this morning to clear up that whole Palestine/Israel mess. He’s going to tell them both that they have to pass the proposal right away. He’ll also warn them that he’ll veto it if it doesn’t include a tax increase that ensures that everyone pays their fair share.

I’m not sure if he means that, or if he’s just getting his campaign message mixed up with his Leader of the Free World message.

 

Update. This just in from the UN. Per Big Guy, “Peace is hard.” Well, that explains everything! Except the Nobel Peace Prize.

bo presidential bracketsPicking the winners is hard too

Major Update 2: UN Photo Embargo Breech

I’ve done my best to handle the optics here, butt Big Guy just keeps going rogue. This was the shot I authorized of Big Guy with some of the little UN people:

OBAMA-UN-GENERAL-ASSEMBLY

Was that enough? Nooooo. He’s got to pose for some additional shots after I left to go shopping with Lady M:

125682969“Here I am, stuck in the middle with you”

funnyI’m glad these little UN people found this so amusing.

Mr. Claire Shipman tried damage control saying that it looked “photoshopped to him”, but that doesn’t seem to have calmed the waters. Now, it’s been picked up by Rush Limbaugh, American Digest, Fausta and probably the whole wide world.

The only good thing about it is that maybe it will keep everybody focused on the picture and not his speech, which, in a nutshell was: “It’s hard.” (Didn’t the MSM make fun of George W for weeks for saying something, uh, identical to that? So I suppose we’re going to have deal with that too, no?) Anyway, I’m just glad they  didn’t get their mitts on this one:

125682969Woops, sorry about that Tsakhia

Linked By: American Digest and Seriously on The Obama File, Thanks