Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Eyes Have It

Have you seen this latest “scientific study?”

According to a new study by Yale University psychologists, most people intuitively feel as if their "self" — otherwise known as their soul, or ego — exists in or near their eyes.

Conclusion: the eyes are the window to the soul! Butt I think your grandma probably already knew that. I guess it’s not official until you get a federal grant and have Ivy League researchers prove it. Here’s how they noodled  out this long standing controversy:

The participants were shown pictures of cartoon characters, and in each picture a small object (a buzzing fly or snowflake) was positioned near a different section of the character's body (face or torso or feet, etc.), always at the same distance away.

The study participants were then asked which pictures showed the object closest to the body, the hypothesis being that people would interpret the object as closest when it was near what they intuitively believed to be the soul's location.

soul-experimentsYale’s “soul-experiments” test: they don’t make science tests like they used to

“What they intuitively believed?”  If that doesn’t sound like one of the standards you  learned about scientific method back in high school biology class that’s because it isn’t. That old fashioned methodology has been scrapped in favor of a new postmodern methodology:  “post-normal science.” 

On it’s face, I’d say the whole experiment sounds dumb. Butt these are Yale psychologists so that can’t be the case. I’m sure they know a lot more about these things than I do. After all, I’m just a mirror.

Mirror-Mirror-embiggened-copy_thumb1 Hmmm. The background looks a little dark. And empty.

I confess, I’m a little uncomfortable with the conclusions of this study. If they’re right about this whole “window to the soul” thing, what am I to make of the images my reflective lenses have caught of Lady M  over the past few years?

    18michelle0_600cinco-the-mayo-make-up obama5



Those glances are reflecting more than a few “spots on the milk bottle,” if you believe in that sort of thing.

little_eye_thumb[2]Counter-intuitively, you reach MO’s soul faster through the little eye than the big one. 

And Big Guy?

STORMobama-drudge-evil-eyebo's eyes

  bo_and_tiny_thumbbo fingering us againwtf



I guess in BO’s case those eyes could be indicative of  much deeper insight. He has a gift. He has a vision. He sees a future that we mere mortals cannot envision…

“Now you’d think, given this extraordinary sight, given the fact that this is creating jobs, generating power, helping to keep our environment clean, making us more competitive globally.  You’d think that everybody would be supportive of solar power,” Obama said before a backdrop of thousands of solar panels soaking up the desert sun.

ap_obama_solar_tk_120321_wblogDon’t stare into the sun too long, Big Guy

“And yet, if some politicians have their way, there won’t be any more public investment in solar energy,” he said.

Maybe if solar energy is that great, it won’t need any public investment, right? You know, let capitalism work? We do still believe in capitalism, right? Right? Buhler? Anyone?


“One member of Congress, who shall remain unnamed, called these jobs ‘phony.’ Called them ‘phony jobs.’ Think about that mindset, that attitude, that says because something is new it must not be real. You know if these guys were around when Columbus set sail, they’d be charter members of the flat earth society.”

That line wasn’t as hysterically funny as it was the first time he trotted it out; still – it evoked polite titters all around.

The point is, Big Guy wants us all to enjoy our day in the sun.


So get in line, the sun’s sure to come out tomorrow.

Oh, and here’s one last panel from the “Where is the soul located?” test:

obama fly

90% of all participants agreed that this picture depicted the fly closest to Big Guy’s portal to his soul; thus proving conclusively that BO does indeed have a gift.