Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Butt for the empty seats, everything’s going well at the games

You know those comments that Romney made about Olympic security that upset everyone in London?

"There are a few things that were disconcerting -- the stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials -- that obviously is not something which is encouraging,"

Geeze, at his age Mitt should have mastered the “I can criticize my sister, butt don’t YOU even THINK about criticizing my sister!” rule.

mittDogone it! I knew that!

A variation of the rule which is “I can criticize my no-good useless husband, but don’t you even think about it.”

610xIt’s OK, Buh-rock, I’ll take it from here

Even so, it does look like Mitt’s entitled to an “I told you so”  moment if he wants one.

In the first place, he was only acknowledging the well publicized fact that:

Security arrangements were thrown into chaos weeks before the opening ceremony when private security contractor G4S acknowledged it would not be able to provide all the guards it had promised. Thousands of soldiers, sailors and air force personnel — some just back from Afghanistan — had to be drafted in to plug the Olympic security gaps.

And then of course there was that little security snafu involving the “lady in red” who just walked right in and joined the the Indian delegation in blue and gold during the opening ceremonies.

gatecrasherUn-credentialed woman marches with Indian delegation at Olympic opening event

indian state dinner gatecrashersUn-credentialed woman shmoozes with Big Guy at Indian State Dinner

What is it about Indian events that attracts gatecrashers in red anyway?

Unfortunately that wasn’t the only Olympic gaffe so far. There was also the story about the keys to Wembley Stadium going missing. Don’t worry, police say they were just misplaced, not stolen. I’m not sure how they know that though, since they had to change all the locks because the originals still haven’t been located. Butt hey! What did you expect from the Brits? If you wanted precision you should’ve gone with the Germans; punctuality, the Swiss. The British are better known for…their health care:


And socialized dental care:


The National Health Service, lionized during the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, is best known not so much for its efficiency, butt its creepiness:


David Cameron, feeling like a spurned relative of some sort, responded to Mitt’s perceived criticism by blasting back:

“We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest most active bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course it's easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere.”

So you would think that holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest most active bustling cities anywhere in the world, they wouldn’t have any trouble whatsoever getting butts in the seats, would you?

article-2181000-144A268C000005DC-298_634x444article-2181000-1449C1D8000005DC-472_634x338empty olympic seatsequestrian  olympic

At the risk of sounding critical, this looks like possibly poor crowd management

As it turns out, filling seats to one of the top drawing events in the world is easier said then done. Initially fault was placed on corporate sponsors for not using their tickets.

empty-seats-at-womens-gym-008Women’s gymnastics: generally a huge draw

Or at least that’s what the Organizers said. Butt it turns out they don’t really know what the problem is, which is probably at least half of the problem. The corporate sponsors were only allocated 8% of the tickets, and they insist that they’re using them all. So I guess that doesn’t explain all these empty seats.

20120730_zaf_a54_170.jpgTennis, anyone?

Maybe people just can’t manage to get around in one of the most bustling cities in the world?  No wonder people who wanted tickets butt were told they were sold out are mad.

London Olympics Artistic Gymnastics WomenThe military was called in to put butts in the seats. Some of them look interested. Others are watching Netflix on their iPhones.

Again, don’t worry because Prime Minister Cameron reports that they’re looking into it and hope to have the problems worked out shortly. I hope so! The games are over in another week. And what if a war breaks out somewhere and they need their soldiers back?

empty_seats_2292113bThose military cutbacks are coming around to bite us: we don’t even have enough soldiers to fill empty seats anymore. Look, up in the sky...incoming…

Butt here’s something funny: I was actually at Mitt’s Olympics in Salt Lake back in 2002!

motus_snoboard-2_copy[3]Here I am launching off the half-pipe!

As a spectator, not a participant. Mitt’s games were in the “middle of nowhere” in the middle of a freezing cold winter, with snow and ice all over the mountain roads that connected multiple venues up to 60 miles apart. And you know what? No empty seats!

snowbasin.2002-mens-superG_thumb1_thSuper-G at Snowbasin

Even the outdoor seats  – and it was freezing cold!

snowpark ski jump park 2002-utah1_grid-6x2Ski jumping above a packed “house” at Olympic Park

halfpipeSpectator’s cram in to watch the men’s half-pipe at Park City Resort

womens curlingThere were even butts in the seats at the women’s curling trials! Whatever that is. I don’t see any hair care products or tools.

I don’t know what to make of this: empty seats in air-conditioned facilities in the middle of one of the world’s most bustling cities; no empty seats in mostly outdoor arenas in the middle of winter in the middle of nowhere.

SLC venuemapclick to embiggen

How do you explain that? Maybe different management techniques? Better management?

Could it be that the bully vulture vampire capitalist wimp who somehow managed to run the Olympics while simultaneously running Bain Capital is just a better manager than the Brits hired for their games? Or maybe they chose the head of their Olympic committee by lottery? Or popularity contest? Or maybe he wrote an autobiography that talked about how he’d always dreamed of running the Olympics?

Oh - and need I remind you that 9-11 occurred just 4 months before Mitt’s games? Until then it was never necessary to search and screen everyone with metal detectors before allowing them to enter any of the Olympic venues? That kind of last minute adjustment sure could have caused a lot of problems for the SLC Olympics. Still: everything went like clockwork. Just like in Switzerland! And no empty seats. Like I said: go figure.

Mitt-Romney-241055-4-402Maybe America just needs a “wimp” like Romney

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