Uh-oh. Did you read that Ulsterman rag yesterday (h/t MichelleIndependent)? It relates a real tale out of school about how Team Romney punked Team Obama, and hoo-wee, it’s ug-ly! Right up my alley.
So here’s the Cliff notes version: Internal polling by Team Romney indicates he’s running a double digit lead in a key swing state (Florida? Michigan?) which they then “leak” to Team Obama in order to get inside their heads. And it worked! When word got to Val Jar, she turned into some kind of an Ultraman T-Rexian monster:
And then she starts ripping the flesh off the bones of the poor O-Team messenger as a warm up before turning full bore at Big Guy himself - pretty much eviscerating him in the process since he doesn’t have much flesh to rip off. Then she orders him to get out there to make things right and get the mojo back.
“Now get your skinny ass out there and act like you know something!”
This apparently rattled the Preezy so bad that the very next weekend he went out to – as Val Jar instructed - “give ‘em hell,” using the “words that work” from the big brained cognitive linguist we hired. Unfortunately it came out like this: “You didn’t build that, somebody else did that!”
That was another Olympic gold for Team Romney. To their credit though, they didn’t spike the ball. Yet.
Team Obama is doing a pretty good job of that themselves
Honestly, the O-Team is so worried now about raising enough money to
buy the election WTF so they can keep spreading the wealth around that we’ve added dozens of campaign stops and fundraisers to an already jam-packed schedule.
And that’s why Lady M and I will be spending a lot of quality time together on the road these last few months.
Because she’s still the best trick we’ve got in the book right now
I'm not saying things are getting desperate, butt Granny R is busy baking pies for a Team Obama bake sale auction. The starting bid is $500 and you have to pick it up yourself. It also comes with a nutritional analysis, a warning that eating pie on a regular basis is detrimental to your over all health and could lead to childhood obesity, and a free app for your iPhone that tells you exactly how many fat calories you’re consuming.
Whoops! Wrong app. This one is to help you find the closest
Kind of a buzz kill on a $500 pie. We haven’t sold too many yet, butt I expect things to pick up after this weekend’s email blast.
So anyway, with all of the turmoil in the campaign and because of our commitment to moving America FORWARD. I took the liberty of drafting an alternative plan for Big Guy that I think might help heal the nation:
Let me know what you think, I haven’t submitted it for Val’s review yet so I can still make some revisions.
Oh, and just for your official record book, here are some shots of Lady M’s historic fund raising stops in North Carolina yesterday. Unfortunately we didn’t get a chance to hit the local Chick-fil-A, one of our favorite late afternoon snack stops. The lines were ridiculous for some reason!
TOTUS-Too Workin, the room with MO! (h/t: Lady Liberty 1885)
No for Who? Oh. Never mind. I need to get my optics checked.
No sooner do we declare “I INTEND TO FIGHT OBSTRUCTION”…
Ultraman T-Rexian monster will not be happy about this.