Friday, July 13, 2012

The Grim Barry Tales

“But the nature of this office is also to tell a story to the American people that gives them a sense of unity and purpose and optimism, especially during tough times.”

So let me tell you a story; in fact, let me tell you 1001 stories.

arabian_nights_001 Scheherazade spins her stories and saves her job

“A little traveling music, please”  (h/t: Jackie Gleason)

BO would like to tell you one story a day, just like Scheherazade. If he spins his tales well enough you’ll be distracted and forget that you were planning to send him packin’ in the morning.

So, I guess we have our next campaign strategy locked down: “Let Me Tell You a Story, America” because clearly our only failing has been not getting our story out.

mo bo tell me a storyWe’ll be deploying all our yarn spinners for this fantasy marathon


oh dear lord moLady Scheherazade is a natural at telling stories that captivate and amaze

I do find BO’s admission of failure to communicate a little surprising though; after all, Democrats have had many, many years of practice at captivating spin:


And Big Guy himself is such an “awesomely phenomenal” communicator:

bos-teleprompter-in-waiting totus

And together BO and MO are natural story tellers, especially good at zombie tales:

no help from totusbo mo oh my

Butt STILL - Democrats just can’t seem to get their message out!

obama-media-groupOur friends try to give Big Guy’s message a little boost, butt I guess they need a little more “message” to work with

That is a shame. Especially since BO got an “A” in everything on his last report card, including communication skills. Of course, we were marking on a curve.

marks on curveA_grade

  Butt let’s focus on the current issue:

“the mistake of my first term…was thinking this job was just about getting the policy right” [ed. which is why he handed that responsibility to a pro like Nancy Pelosi]

“but(t) the nature of this office is also to tell a story to the American people that gives them a sense of unity and purpose and optimism.” [ed. I think we’ve nailed everything except the unity and optimism; our purpose should be – in Big Guy’s words “perfectly clear” if anybody’s been paying attention]

So, having assessed the situation and determining that all we need are a few more good stories, we’ve contacted Bill Ayers to see if he’s available for a little composite story “editing.” I sure HOPE so, because Team-Obama is having a little trouble creating even a composite story on that unity thing.

So, those of you who are “In” will be getting an email blast from Plouffe-Daddy soon, asking you to share your stories about unity, optimism and purpose. We’ll be compositing them into little vignettes to be included in Barry’s Grim Tales of fighting to save America from the evil Republicans. They’ll also be used to raise money to continue the fight.

Meanwhile Team-O is working on a script for “Our Economic Optimism” and  “Our Composite Purpose”

Here’s all we’ve got so far: a story board for what we’re calling our  composite “why we’re optimistic about Obamacare” – see what you think:

Our Story and we’re sticking with it: It’s a fee – no, no - it’s a tax! No it’s a fee – butt only for freeloaders!  Plus,“Our Story” about how those other 21 taxes created or increased by Obamacare will actually create or save thousands of jobs in the IRS. While simultaneously provide Julia - and you - with all the free contraceptives you want. And medical marijuana too! Are you on board?

I think we’ll get some traction with that one, don’t you?

Oh, and how’s this sound for “Our Story” about economic unity in America? This one practically wrote itself: 81% of Americans now concur that the economy sucks! I know there’s a negative side to that unity butt that’s where our personal spin comes in: Nobody really cares! That’s right, because our administration stepped up and provided everyone with 90 weeks of unemployment followed by Social Security disability: all augmented by our SNAPpy Food Stamp program and EBT cards that provide struggling families with cash for booze, gambling and manicures. Gambling, people! You’ve got to be optimistic to gamble, right?

ebt atmFinance-Sgns6_05Now accepted everywhere!

BTW, here’s the rest of the story: the Republicans are trying to take everything away from you – so be sure to remember that when you vote in November.

Okay then, I think we’re getting our Mojo back!

open mike dayThank you!  I’ll be here all week!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and Kenneth Gunderson on facebook, and LadyLiberty1885 on twitter, Thanks!