Sunday, May 12, 2013

Obama’s Message: “I Wish All You Mothers Would Just Chill”

Despite what you may have heard about the scare, yesterday’s West Wing evacuation of reporters and photographers was not repeat, NOT caused by a smoking gun.

glock shotAn aside: a Glock always makes a thoughtful Mother’s Day gift

The official explanation, if anyone believes official explanations any more, is that the billowing smoke was caused by an overheated transformer in a mechanical room.

Can you handle the truth? We’re betting against it around here, butt I think you can. The truth is that the mounting pressure of the twin scandals of Benghazi-gate and the IRS’ Teaparty-gate (and now rumors of Extortion 17-gate) was starting to get to everyone around here, even No-Drama-Obama.


He thought if he could just get together with his mellow self again for a bit, everything would be okay. So he called in the old choom gang to, uh, chill.

Needless to say, things went awry.

white house smoke and_fireMan, that Maui Wowee is potent stuff!

We had to call the Fire Department because, as you can see here, Lady M’s Tuscan Kale was in danger:


By the time they arrived though, everything was back to normal. Including Big Guy,


who was once again ready to grab the reins of government:


So you can all just move along now, I think we’ve got this situation under control.

our position has been confirmed  

Oh, and by the way - President Obama and First Lady Michelle would like to wish all you mothers a happy day.

tea audit copyHappy effing Mothers Day from the Obamas to all you Mothers Against Big Government

And if you haven’t gotten your Mom a present yet, Big Guy has some helpful suggestions. Because Mom can never have too many Obama thongs:

obama mama thong

and here’s a very special bouquet for her very special day – right from the Organic Garden of Good and Evil:

not tuscan kale

What is it? Well, I can tell you it’s not Tuscan Kale. Since we can’t grow enough for everybody’s Mom, you can order yours through the Cheech and Chong site. And Big Guy guarantees your Mom will love it.

Butt seriously, Happy Mothers Day! And many Happy Returns:


Linked By: iOwnTheWorld’s Cardigan, and BadBlue, and kcrouch and MuseumTwenty on twitter, and Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network