Monday, November 25, 2013

Hey Harry, you’re not the only guy with a nuclear option.

bo yankee doodle

Yankee Doodle went to town
Riding on a pony;
He stuck a feather in his hat,
And called it macaroni.

Let me see if I have this straight: We’ve been secretly - and unilaterally1 - negotiating with Iran for the past year on what they have to do in order for us to (unilaterally) lift sanctions against them.

This weekend Big Guy announced (unilaterally) that he and Val-Jar Jean Carré reached a nuclear weapons deal with Iran.

untitledWhoa! Looks like somebody got sucker-punched.

Don’t be concerned by the lack of transparency in this deal, it’s really more of a 6 month layaway option on a deal.

iran deal layaway copy

Here are the basic terms of our nuclear weapons lay-away plan:

  • Sanctions against Iran are lifted for the next 6 months
  • Iran can continue enriching uranium during this time - which is better than the previous offer they had from the UN, which required that enrichment be stopped before sanctions could be lifted.
  • With sanctions lifted and enrichment continuing, it will be easier for Iran to get spare parts to complete the assembly of their nuclear weapons;
  • This, in turn, will ensure that Iran actually has fully operational nuclear weapons in place with which to negotiate the terms of its nuclear disarmament. And the disassembly of the nuclear weapons they’ve, uh, just assembled. 

Here’s a bit more detail:

Iran, deal of the century

Am I missing anything? No? I didn’t think so. No wonder the French called it “a sucker’s deal” - before they decided to go along with the sucker.

suckersHello, Suckas!!

In addition to other laudatory terms, the secret layaway plan (rumored to have been brokered by Iranian-born special counsel to the President, Val –Jar2 I can neither confirm nor deny, despite our ongoing commitment to transparency3 around here)  has been hailed as an “unwise” “historical mistake” and a “Foreign-Policy Disaster.”  Aside from that, I think it’s gone over pretty well; nobody was talking about Obamacare on the Sunday shows for a change.

So now you understand why we had to break Barry’s transparency pledge4 to the American people…again. We simply couldn’t go public with this information before hand; just look at all the bipartisan disdain that’s been heaped on Big Guy once he did go public.



1unilateral - adjective

1: (of an action or decision) performed by or affecting only one person, group, or country involved in a particular situation, without the agreement of another or the others. "unilateral nuclear disarmament"

2: Obligating only one of two or more parties, nations, or persons, as a contract or an agreement.

2 An Israeli television network reported Sunday night that Valerie Jarrett, senior adviser to President Barack Obama, has been holding secret talks with the head of Iran’s Atomic Energy Organization, Ali Akbar Salehi, and that the international negotiations underway in Geneva are merely a “facade” covering up a deal whose terms have already been decided.

Exactly one year ago, the Israeli newspaper Ynet reported that Jarrett was beginning to communicate behind the scenes with representatives of Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

Israeli government officials are reportedly angry that the Obama administration has reportedly not been keeping Israel abreast of the latest developments regarding talks with Iran over curbing the Islamic Republic’s nuclear program.

However, “White House National Security Council spokeswoman Bernadette Meehan said that the report about the deal was “absolutely, 100 percent false.” So case closed: denied by low level Big White functionary, so you can take that to the nuclear arms bank.

3trans·par·en·cy - noun

1:  something transparent; especially: a picture (as on film) viewed by light shining through it or by projection

2:  the quality or state of being transparent

3: as used in science, engineering, business, the humanities and in a social context more generally, implies openness, communication, and accountability.

 4trans·par·en·cy (noun) and Open Government: (

“My Administration is committed to creating an unprecedented level of openness in Government.  We will work together to ensure the public trust and establish a system of transparency, public participation, and collaboration. Openness will strengthen our democracy and promote efficiency and effectiveness in Government.”

“Government should be transparent.  Transparency promotes accountability and provides information for citizens about what their Government is doing.”

imagesCAHQB7GQ“I tell you what cowboy, how about you just get yer’self a lid, stick a feather in it and ride out of town on that little pony of yours.”

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network