MOTUS A.D.: Mele Kalik-Obama #5

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Mele Kalik-Obama #5

Each year I reprise this Christmas Eve post, originally posted in 2009, to commemorate our first, historic, Presidential vacation on the alleged island of Barry’s birth. To this day however, nobody really knows exactly where our new messiah was born.

Each year I like to update it to capture a bit of the nation’s current Zeitgeist, in order to provide a more accurate record of the First Historic Imperial American Presidency for future generations. And don’t worry if you haven’t had time to get all your shopping done and your cookies baked: Big Guy is granting a special, one-time-only, one day extension of the Christmas Eve deadline this year!

So please enjoy this year’s edition, and as we say in Hawaii: Mele Kalikimaka!

Christmas Eve, 2013

If you didn’t receive this year’s official Big White Winter Holiday card yet, it’s probably because we had to cut back on our mailing list this year: part of the lingering effects of the heartless Republican sequester cuts. Butt don’t feel bad, as most people agree that this year’s was not really one of our better efforts.

I have to say, aside from the pop-up architecture, it doesn’t look like anyone put much thought into this card. “Gather around?” The “season?” What does that even mean? The only thing we gather around regularly is the table and we do that in every season. And, “may the warmth and joy of the holidays fill your home?” Your home, maybe; butt not ours, as we’re vacating it for 17 days.

Given all the negative reviews coming in about the “gatherings” card, our handlers decided on a healthcare.gov style work around after we arrived in Hawaii. So I’ve been authorized to offer - for a limited only - all my MOLs, MODs and FOM’s a copy of our second edition 2013 commemorative Winter Holiday card from the WONs:

As the old Hawaiian saying goes, sometimes you should quit before you get any further behind.

Or, alternatively, you can have this Christmas card from that red-neck, bible thumper guy, and his family.

When placing your order, simply indicate card “A” - the cheerless, mirthless, joyless family or “B” - the Happy, Happy, Happy one. I’ll take care of the rest.

And now, here’s the original Mele Kalikemaka Christmas Eve post, from way back in 2009. (hard to believe, I know!) complete with my special “Christmas Eve Dream” video. Enjoy.

Santa and his elves are hanging around D.C. just long enough this morning to vote on how much they’re going to charge for shipping and handling on this year’s free gifts.

Then we can all fly away for our Winter Solstice holidays! I can’t wait – I’ve never been to Big Guy’s alleged birth state. I have to remember to pack my UVA and UVB lenses.

I dreamed about our vacation all last night …