Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Chicago? The Milan of the Midwest? Seriously?

Do you see now what I have to work with here? No wonder I’ve been so exhausted lately.

In Michelle Obama's hometown, working women hustle back and forth from home to the office in stylish shoes they can walk fast and far in. They wear chic but commonsense coats that keep them warm in the winters — and those famous sleeveless tops favored by the first lady in the summer.

Anyone who comes from a place that thinks you can safely use the words “chic” and “commonsense” in the same sentence is going to require a lot of trans-imaging.

AP is calling Chicago  the “Milan of the Midwest.” No, seriously. Never underestimate the MSM’s ability to make stuff up. They all listed Hollywood as their first choice at vocation night, so fantasy comes natural. But this one was a stretch even for people living their dream.

So I tried to connect the dots. Milan gave us Gucci, Prada, Armani, Dolce & Gabbana and Versace: Chicago gave us Bob Newhart, John Belushi, Oprah and Hugh Hefner – also, Ted Kaczynski, Saul Alinsky and Bill Ayers. I’m not seeing it yet, and I’ve got the worlds best optics.

OH WAIT! Milan… ITALY! Chicago… Al Capone, Mayor Daley I, Mayor Daley II. Coming into focus now. At least the O’s aren’t from New Jersey.

Oh, and did you know John Dillinger was from Chicago too?