Tuesday, November 30, 2010

What Color is Your Security Code?

To be honest, both Lady M and I are both sick and tired of WikiLeaks, tax cuts, homegrown terrorists and nuclear weapons.

And you know what that means! We’re going shopping!

I saw this fashion forward article in – of all places – the Weekend Wall Street Journal, and shared it with MO because she looked as if she needed a little fashion boost after the long grueling holiday of pie eating contests. Who knew the WSJ was into fashion?

In the introduction to her book "The World of Gloria Vanderbilt," [ed. Anderson’s Mom!] GYI0062324430_xxlarge

Wendy Goodman recalls the first time she ever saw the heiress, clad in bright red stockings and a cashmere dress. It was at a Christmas party when Ms. Goodman was 9.

"I was mesmerized," she writes. "It wasn't just that she was so beautiful and I had never seen a grown-up in red stockings before; she seemed linked to a world of untamed glamour." In a season where color is everything, why not borrow from Ms. Vanderbilt's playbook, but with a twist. Try the monochrome leg—matching bold-hued tights and shoes—on for size.

Besides its leg-elongating properties, the monochrome look is all the statement you need (no accessories required!), which makes the idea not only easy to pull together but easy on the charge card, too. A bright gam works best when paired with suede or patent-leather kicks and textured materials on the torso. Try chocolate-on-chocolate with a tweed suit, royal blue-on-blue with a knit dress or a cranberry-red ankle peeking out from a boiled-wool cigarette pant. Whether you choose earth tones for day or vivid Technicolor for night, don't be surprised if you mesmerize—or gain a biographer.

View Slideshow


While we don’t really need to worry about the “elongating legs” part, I figured anything that would coax those famous gams into something resembling a stocking would be a good thing. And I thought the use of stockings with matchy-matchy shoes as “accessories” might entice her. Sure enough: I had her at “red.”

So I trans-imaged some of MO’s previous looks to show her what fun this can be. Here’s what I came up with, and now we’re going shopping for the real deal.

The Red matchy-matchy:

MO red pair This, for those of you who didn’t think MO’s attire could possibly been any more inappropriate at this Medal of Honor ceremony


panama city yellow legspanama city yellow original

Mo gave a nod to her inner Smuf with the lemon yellow flats she chose for this dress, butt to complete the  look for this charming casual robin’s egg blue shift, nothing does it as well as Crayola yellow tights – which have the added benefit of really showcasing her well toned legs!



Blue:First lady Michelle Obama walks down the presidential airplane upon her arrival in Mexico City, Tuesday, April 13, 2010. Obama is on a three-day visit to Mexico. (AP Photo/Eduardo Verdugo)

Which works well with our Superman theme,

superman 4443396980_332410f3a4_o

and green (one of our favorite colors):

rubber dress green legs squirt flowerrubber dress And while I know that the article implies you need no further accessory than the artfully colored leg and foot, need I remind you that we’re known for being fashion forward? A little matchy brooch is always a nice touch.


And you all know how Lady M loves royal purple:

purple dress 

purple dress oeiginal

Look how the purple tights punch up this royal look. Strictly for illustrative purposes. I don’t think this particular frock fits us quite as “royally” any more.





I was thinking of offering this colored stocking scheme to Bruno for her use as the new terrorist alert code:

The Associated Press has confirmed the department recently submitted a draft proposal to the White House detailing a new public warning system – one that’s clearer, more descriptive, and lets the public know what actions they need to take.  The details of the new proposal are still being worked out with input from several government agencies.

Butt Lady M is balking. You all know what a pain panty hose are, and apparently MO really is getting tired of sacrificing for her country.

So now, we’re stuck with whatever homeland security comes up with. Although I should warn you, Bruno’s leaning towards crop circles.

crop-circles_weed2 Level 1, Chill


cropcircleCross_0 Level 2, Say Your Prayers


imagesCABDEJIR Level 3, We’re Screwed

Unfortunately, this is how the trial run went:


I think colored stockings would work better, myself.