Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Obama Checks In: WINNING!

"The clock is ticking; time is running out,"  Big Guy told the room packed full of journ-o-lists yesterday before stalking out in a huff.

Who’s writing the scenes these days? They must be on Big Guy’s team, because they keep handing him the proverbial white hat to wear.

The House refuses to “Pass this Bill Now!” so they look like the the Grinch while Big Guy ends up looking  like the good guy –even though he traded his white hat in for a black one,

          tumblr_lvc0x1BIED1qa8s4do1_400  obama_hat

in order to ride out of town on his high horse.

horses-ass which way you going broYo! Which way you going bro?

Seriously, the R-words don’t really need Big Guy’s goons. They beat themselves up. I think John Boehner might as well go home to cry, because it sure doesn’t look like he’s got what it takes to pull out a plumb.

cong06-art0-g98b6b9d-1aptopix-boehner-new-congress-jpeg-01ec2-1-large

So, all’s right with the world again. Big Guy’s numbers are up, thanks to the WaPo oversampling Dems (just their little Winter Holiday gift to BO) and joblessness is down because gazillions of you just gave up and stopped looking for a job (thanks everybody!). All of which allows Big Guy to do what he likes to do best: throw one of his finger-pointing snit fits in Jay-Jay’s cave in front of the cameras, take no questions and then stalk out in his perfectly creased pants and freshly shined shoes. He never gets tired of that, although he prefers it when everyone applauds.

Never mind that the Senate bill was fraught with all sorts of ill-will towards men; all that counts is how the news is covered. And with Big Guy’s Senate plan, middle class taxes wouldn’t have expired for a whopping, additional 60 days! On that front the current score is: Big Guy 1 Republicans 0. Just what we wished for.

bo no time for anything butt campaigningLA 136032157.jpg

WINNING!

Actually, there aren’t any real winners here, butt seriously R-words, if you’re going to play this game, for heavens sake, learn the rules. Because if there’s one thing your loyal opposition knows, it’s the rules, and how to use them to their advantage. So let’s make this a fair food fight so WINNING means something again. Besides, you’re making life tough for little people everywhere.

Anyway, it’s (Christmas) week, and we need a little cheer. So here’s a feel good story: not only is the healthy school lunches initiative failing miserably, butt Lady M’s new food plate replacement for the old food pyramid seems to be a complete bust as well.

olive-garden

"How can this be good news, MOTUS?" you may be asking yourself.

Well, for one thing, it means we have to go back to the drawing board:

pizza-food-pyramid-close-enough1

And maybe we can put some of that attractive cellulite that we’ve lost - due to all the stress of sacrificin’ for the American people - back where it belongs.

And from an economic perspective, having to develop another brand new food icon will create or save hundreds if not thousands of jobs.

horses_assImitation: the most sincere form of flattery

And Washington is just full of imitation.

Linked By: Best Snark Here on Weasel Zippers, Thanks!