Where to begin? I leave to go unspecified holiday shopping for a few short hours and all hell breaks lose around here.
Let’s start here: Big Guy and Wee Won II look seasonally appropriate. Lady M and Wee Won I look at least a partial solstice out of sequence in their Easter egg hues.
Secondly, what part of “sheath” do we not understand? While I’ll grant you there are now as many dresses masquerading as sheaths as there are drinks calling themselves “martinis” the simple fact is there is only one classic.
A sheath dress features a figure-hugging silhouette, generally with darts at the bust and slightly curved to a defined waist (no belt or waistband). This short (mid-calf to mid-knee) dress may be sleeved or sleeveless.
And while the dress under the matching coat may technically qualify in theory, in practice, not so much. it’s supposed to be figure-hugging not fighting. And yes, whenever the inner lining is visible below the hem of the dress, it’s too tight somewhere. Or everywhere.
A classic may offer a few minor variations in fit and form: this isn’t one of them.
anymore than these are real martinis:
By classic, we mean classic:
simple, sleek, straight-up, minimal adornment:
And I don’t need to tell you, this isn’t the first time we’ve had issues with sheaths that fit like shar peis
Butt I think you get my point: sheaths should only be worn with proper containment systems…and even then it can be dicey if you don’t control all the camera angles. Or all the cameras.
So let’s just move onto the evening’s festivities at the "Christmas in Washington" celebration at the National Building Museum
I think you’ll agree this is a better execution of the cross-strapped cocktail gown than this rendition intended to be reminiscent of Jackie too:
We also did much better with our elf diversity this year; you may recall that last year’s cute elf display was a little, uh, too White Christmasy:
In fact everything was more colorful this year:
including our Celebs. Red headed Conan was the MC and rapper Cee Lo Green (you may remember him from his colorful big hip hop hit "F**K YOU!") lit things up, as did Victoria Justice, Jennifer Huston, the Band Perry and…the Bieb!
The whole place was rockin’!
And in case you were previously engaged and missed the 60 minute interview with Big Guy that also aired last night here’s a 60 second version: Big Guy: “I saved the country from a deep(er) recession, saved the American (electric) car industry, gave you Obamacare (like it or lump it) and - did I mention this before? – killed Osama Bin Laden. The Republicans? They drove the car into the ditch and decided to leave it there because they hate the middle class and are racists.” And then he spent the remaining 59 minutes outlining the strategy for his class war. I smell victory.
Up here where the air is rarified, it smells like victory
Down here where the little people breathe, it may smell more like compost.
UPDATED WITH ANONYMOUSE’S LINKY-SHOT OF THE DAY:
“You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here.” Travis Bickle