Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012: Facing Our Future & Ending the Occupation

Happy New Year! The Promise of 2012 is palpable! I guess we’ll have to wait and see if all the prophesies for this eventful year are accurate:

obama2012300x456 Ancient Mayan Prophecy Predicts the End of the World in 2012

Butt heck! It’s New Years Day! Lets enjoy some scenes from last night’s revelry, and maybe consider a couple of New Year’s Resolutions.

Lady Gaga was on hand to bring in the New Year in Times Square with Mayor Bloomberg, and a dignified arrival it was:

bloomie and gaga

Although Bloomie might have been a tad underdressed, Gaga, for her part, did not disappoint: sporting three sparkly costumes:

     btwbtw3hot black

Lady Gaga sports costumes representing the three possible monetary standards the U.S. is considering for 2012: silver, gold and mud.

Lady Gaga  who would have you believe she was “Born This Way” actually wasn’t. Like her idol, Madonna (nee Ciccone), Gaga was born a sweet little Italian girl named Stefani Germanotta..

               madonna first communionLadyGaga-SR-FirstCommunion-GC

Madonna, L, Stefani, R, at their First Communion,above, and below, before they were just material girls

             imagesmadonna litle girlCAC5VLJP stefani



And while Madonna is clearly Lady Gaga’s idol and inspiration, at just 25 LG may wish to make note of certain decisions Madonna, who will turn 54 this year, has made and file them away for future reference. And since some of these decisions are irreversible for Madge, allow me to suggest a few age-appropriate New Year Resolutions for the original Material Girl, to help her transition into the second half of her century.

We’ll start with the simple stuff: Let’s face it Madge: there is a chronological age at which – no matter how toned you keep those arms – you might want to consider covering them up:

madonna1Frog legs are only appealing when they’re sautéed, road house style 

Along the same lines, even if you have rock hard abs, like Trudie Skyler here, (Mrs. Sting),

5 OVER 5 mrs sting

bare mid-drifts are just not your friend any more, girl.

        madonna resolutionMadonna Kicks Off Sticky Sweet Tour Cardiff vo3p48-Cp_Al

Even on a Sticky and Sweet concert tour, a bare middle section seems somehow inappropriate after a “certain” age.

Actually, the “bare” part goes for a lot of other body parts as well after a certain point. If you know what I mean.

        article-1382790-0BDAC57800000578-314_306x454 michelle-obama-in-purple-682x1024

And speaking of legs: we might want to reconsider certain boot styles as well:


I don’t care how you try to skirt it, and wrap it in patriotism, after a certain point thigh highs might not be the best choice.

Michelle Obama Xmas11 3

Oh, and one last thought: you might want to swear off further cosmetic “enhancements” after the first 50 (enhancements, not years). Although with proper makeup ($15,000 per session) and photo touchup skills you’ll still look great, when you leave the gym sans makeup, well, you might scare people.


Just ask Melanie Griffith what can happen if you get carried away.

melanie griffith hatMelanie Griffith, vacationing with the 1% in Aspen. Apparently money can’t buy everything.

Butt if you do insist on having future cosmetic surgery to ward off the effects of aging, I do have one additional New Year’s Resolution you may want to adopt: hire HER surgeon:

Raquel Welch at 70Raquel: part of the 1/2 of the 1/2 of the 1% where looks are concerned – how is that fair?

Raquel Welch. Age: 71 Is this even legal in America? Where we’re all supposed to be equal?

Happy New Year to everyone from Raj, Little Mo, Little Bo and Moi!