Our Most Populist President Ever

Just like you guys, I spread it around every day too!

I’m not sure we’re going to get to the bottom of the TOTUS hacking incident. Personally, I think TOTUS was just messing with Big Guy because he was getting bored. After all, he’s been stuck scrolling the same populist stump speech for both Big Guy and Lady M –  churning out class warfare rhetoric to thunderous applause, for weeks on end now. It’s getting a little stale.

I want this to be a big, bold, generous country where everybody gets a fair shot, everybody is doing their fair share, everybody is playing by the same set of rules.

On the Peoples’ Farm all animals are equal, butt some are more equal than others

Of course TOTUS does do a little customizing, depending on the special interests of the group on deck: that’s known as target marketing.

Do we want to keep these tax cuts for folks like me who don’t need them?

Or do we want to invest in the things that will help us in the long term – like (fill in the blank…)

For example, with our Hispanic fans, we talk about immigration reform,

Mi plato es su plato

for business groups – less red tape,

Hi! I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.

for the Greenies, clean energy -

Yay! Natural Gas! Butt no fracking! Or pipelines. Otherwise, go ahead.

and for students – we offer more grants, aid and cheaper tuition.

Butt you’re on your own when it comes to finding a job

Butt then, towards the end of the student stump speech at the University of Michigan last week we added a new twist:

But we also understand that we’re not successful just by ourselves. We’re successful because somebody started the University of Michigan. (Applause.)

We’re successful because somebody made an investment in all the federal research labs that created the Internet.[H/T: Al Gore] We’re successful because we have an outstanding military -- that costs money.

We’re successful because somebody built roads and bridges and laid broadband lines. And these things didn’t just happen on their own.

That meme - “nobody does it on their own”  - sounds familiar; where have I heard that before, only with better grammar and syntax? Oh yes, last September from one of Big Guy’s surrogates running for the Senate: Elizabeth “there’s nobody in this country who got rich on his own” Warren.

Czarina Elizabeth Warren with Big Guy and Turbo Timmy

"You built a factory out there? Good for you. But I want to be clear: you moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for; you hired workers the rest of us paid to educate; you were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory, and hire someone to protect against this, because of the work the rest of us did."

While there’s a point in there somewhere, I’m not sure she’s right about the factory owners  not having to worry about marauding bands coming to seize everything they have:

One way to spread the wealth around: Occupy a jewelry store!

Apparently some of the OWIES have taken the call to class warfare seriously, and have decided to take matters into their own hands:

The Occupy Oakland crowd, last night, taking it to the streets

And since class warfare has been officially declared, we’re sending all of our surrogates out to spread the message. Here’s Valarie “people didn’t get wealthy alone” Jarrett taking up the mantra last Wednesday with Reverend Al:

They know that people didn't get wealthy alone. They got wealthy because they live in a country that where a government is doing what it's supposed to do. Educates our children, it provides infrastructure, roads and bridges. It provides the research dollars for science and technology.

To demonstrate, let’s explore how Val  became wealthy, because I assure you she didn’t do it “alone.” First, she had the help of Chicago Mayor Harold Washington when she worked for him, which landed her in the office of the even more powerful Mayor Richard Daley. As you know, life isn’t an even playing field. Nobody, especially nobody of color, can WTF without special connections, arrangements, strings, cords and opportunities. And Valerie Jarrett used all of the above to  collect earn her way into the 1% club so she could help others get there too.

And just as her high powered contacts landed her high paying jobs and seats on powerful state and corporate boards, she used her contacts to help many others. For example, she returned the favors she was shown by using her acquired power to help other deserving little people. Like the partners in Rezmar, Tony Rezko and Dan Mahru who – until they got rich with the help of Val and others in the Daley machine administration – were just a couple of the 99%-ers selling snacks on the city’s beaches. With proper “help” however, they were able to turn into wealthy “developers” by renovating and managing slums low income housing projects for the city of Chicago. And all they needed to be a little more equal than others was a little help!

In true pay it forward fashion, Tony Rezko helped many others get more equal too. In fact, he came to be known in Chicago as a political “fixer.” Which means roughly “helping others get wealthy.”

Tony, Bill and Hill: the “helping others get rich” meme has been around for a long time.

Most notably, Tony – who was just another guy in the neighborhood – is known for “helping” BO and MO buy a nicer house then they could afford, thus making them a little wealthier. That’s just the way it works.  I’m sure everybody already knows all about this, because it was covered extensively when Big Guy was running for president. Right?

Tony, of course, is now serving 10+  years in the federal hoosegow on felony charges. Something about “using his connections to state boards to demand kickbacks.” I’m pretty sure Val didn’t have anything to do with those “connections to state boards” because she’s not been charged with anything. And she’s smarter than Tony.

Tony deserves to be in jail for his crimes, Not only did he break the “helping'” chain, he violated the first rule of people whose wealth came about as a result of other peoples “help.” He got caught.

This effectively takes Tony out of the “helping” others get rich quick pool for awhile

And now his former partner, Dan Mahru, has been disbarred for defrauding his own mother. The charges are for embezzling the trust set up to provide for her long term care. So it’s all probably a big misunderstanding.  What kind of a person would do a thing like that? Although, he may have thought she would have no use for the fund, now that Obamacare will be taking care of her.

As far as Elizabeth goes, I don’t know who helped her get into the 1% club. All I know is that she is a member, and membership has its privileges. She came from humble beginnings – as most wealthy Democrats seem to – and is now living in a $5 million house and holds a stock portfolio worth nearly $8 million. Since she and her husband have both been college professors I guess it’s possible they just earned it – without anybody’s help. Although that seems to undermine her argument a bit.

So maybe this is the new American Story: from pulling yourself up by your bootstraps to whining about America’s power and strength.

From Horatio Alger -

to Noam Chomsky in one short century

 Hugo touting Noam’s Hegemony or Survival: do you need to know any more?

I don’t see how this ends well.