Monday, April 23, 2012

Smoke ‘em If You Got ‘em

barack_obama_smoking_weed1

“Mr. Obama has held more than a hundred joint fund-raisers since last spring, far more than President George W. Bush during his 2004 re-election, and has tucked fund-raising stops into many of his official presidential trips.”

Heh. Try saying that three times with a straight face: “Mr. Obama has held more than a hundred joint fund-raisers”

Even with this promise of additional fundraiser looty, it looks like it’s still “hard out here for a pimp” Plouffee is still having a hard time luring in the really big sugar daddies. Boy, this economy sucks doesn’t it?

Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to do what every other business in America has had to do if we want to make money: go offshore!

Apparently all you have to do is turn off that standard little gizmo called “Address Verification System” that screens credit-card charges for matching names and addresses and checks for cards issued by foreign banks. I don’t personally think that accepting a generous contribution from Bashar al-Assad, location: Damascus, Syria is illegal – butt apparently some people do.

bo raising money“Look Mahmoud, if you want me to get you the Gaza Strip, I’m going to need a little walking around money.”

One of our latest foreign trips combined business with fund raising too:

hil1_thumb[11]Whoops, no; not this

This:

CELEBRITY CHEF1_thumbCELEBRITY CHEF2_thumbdilma hands_thumb

“Yo, Venezuela: are you in? Panama, Grenada? You in? I know you’re in Brazil!”

There was no doubt that Colombia was in, since President Santos invited Big Guy for a cup of Joe – served by none other than Juan Valdez!

dinner with LA leaders bo juan

Juan was definitely in too, as he’s accustomed to the company of donkeys:

              my little donkey close up

Juan is sort of the Billy Mays of Colombian products. He hawks for both of Colombia’s 2 most famous exports:

         CoffeeBag_Colombianjutebag_colombia

Columbian java and Colombian gold

Anyway, we’re investing our campaign gear budget in something that will generate the biggest returns in terms of donations: technology (so don’t tell me that BO’s anti-capitalism; we’re all about ROI).

To remain competitive, the Obama campaign has spent millions of dollars on high-tech, small-dollar prospecting. They have used sophisticated data mining techniques and low-dollar promotions — like $3-a-head raffles for dinner with the president — to reassemble the network of millions of supporters whose contributions helped propel him into the White House.

So no need to worry about our team losing your information once we have it – we’re using all the latest gizmos to keep an eye on you, thanks to our friends at Google.

And speaking of Google, I’ll be danged! It looks like my “I write like” program is more accurate than I initially gave it credit for. Thomas Lifson reports that Google has correctly - although possibly inadvertently - identified the actual author of Big Guy’s first NYT best seller:

So the company that supposedly knows more about us than we know ourselves also knows who wrote Dreams from My Father.

Turns out it was just some guy in the neighborhood; from Google search:

Google%20booksdreams from my father

And boy, do things ever move fast in the blogosphere these days. No sooner did Mr. Lifson break the great Google smoke out story and this shows up:

BillboardsBothAnn Barnhart via American Digest

The R-words are wasting no time capitalizing on their newest meme  “Big Guy is a Fraud!” (as if that’s news).

Let’s just hope this one doesn’t have as many legs as that OED thing, which has clearly gotten out of hand now.

bo orders in puperroini pizzaOrdering in: 3 large pupperonis

So let’s just stay focused okay? It’s not like there aren’t a lot of other issues out there that we should be talking about or anything.

Barack-Obama-Smoking-Marijuana-561601 Big Guy: if he had a ‘fro, and smoked Columbian gold, he’d look like this.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and bettyann on twitter, and Lynn II on Newsbird’s Views, and Zilla of the Resistance on twitter, Thanks