Saturday, April 28, 2012

Dancing With America’s Czars

I see Weasel Zippers dug up an old picture of Lady M from her modern dance class in high school and is passing it off as “newly discovered” Moochabilia. Well unfortunately, it’s not new to me, it’s been sitting here on my hard drive, making me twitchy since the “Wonce and Only” mooved in.

In case you haven’t figured out by now, dancin’ is Lady M’s life. She does it everywhere, all the time. It’s just in her genes. (Is that racist?) She takes to it like a turnip to vinegar. Is that even an expression – outside the Middle East I mean?


turnippicklesTasty pink turnip pickles

This should come as no surprise. As you may recall, Lady M danced her way into this job (as did Big Guy).


and she intends to dance out too. When she’s good and ready.

In the interim, so far, we’ve danced across America,





    dancing foolholy name hs

…with and without Big Guy

Latin America,



and Africa


ll you want to know how much Lady M loves dancin’ all you have to do is check out how many times I’ve reported on her mooves right here. Just a few of many examples:

Dancin’ in the O-zone:


The world famous rhubarb dance in Getting Back to our Roots:

rhubarb dance

Transformed just last month as a tree worship dance in Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragons:

mo's tree

Or how about way back in September of 2010 when we had an evening devoted to Lady M’s love of dance? We invited the legendary Judith Jamison - remember how my memory chip  momentary mixed her up with porn star Jenna Jamison? Boy, that was embarrassing!

jenna-jameson_thumb[2]JJ and her cantaloupes

Fall for Dance: 100% Pornography Free:

    letsmove1[2]  Mo high steppin'

“I could 'a been somebody! Instead of a bum. Because that’s what I am. I could 'a been a contender! If only I’d been shown that trap door.”

Then there was the modern dance grant that Big Guy’s stimulus dollars funded, at Lady M’s behest (covered here in my Dressing Up Our Summer of Recovery):

mccain-coburn-list[4]North Carolina’s $762k Computer Choreography. So much for Rage Against the Machine.

UNC said they needed the dance stimulus grant to “define an evolving system that assists in the design and production of interactive dance performances with real-time audience interaction.”

Dude: it’s called a “club.” They have them in nearly every city outside of the Middle East.

And if you don’t believe me, just ask the Secret Service guys assigned to Big Guy.

Then there was the Platypus Dance:

     mo and PerryMo's platypus dance.

And who can ever forget the Dougie? Ever. Here, in Risky/Not Risky:

upandawayvee vant to pump you upmovin

And again, later in my Diptych Trip Tic dispatch:

hula movesThe chartreuse blouse sort of grows on you, doesn’t it?

And here’s one of my personal faves, because it includes both Lady M’s dancing skills and Big Guy’s, uh, talents too: She’s a Rich Girl, She Don’t Try to Hide It?

    He's a poor boy
    Empty as a pocket
    Empty as a pocket with nothing to lose
    Sing ta na na
    Ta na na na
    She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes
    She got diamonds on the soles of her shoes
    Diamonds on the soles of her shoes
    Diamonds on the soles of her shoes

So I wrap up this dance review of the Wonce and Only’s dancin’ on graves across America and around the world with a couple of observations:

BO said after Osama’s demise at the hands of the Navy Seals that there would be no spiking of the ball in the end zone. So apparently that is NOT Big Guy dancing in the end zone in that “Romney is so uncool he never would have made the tough call to take Osama out” ad.

So I’m hearing a lot of people saying this could be Big Guy’s politics of fear “It’s 3:00 AM, who do you want to answer the call?” ad.

All I can say is the call came in closer to noon, EST, and Big Guy wasn’t asleep. He was on the golf course. So after 5-6 hours of consulting with his top advisors, conducting a quickie poll and focus grouping the options, he finally received the go ahead from Lady M and boldly said, “OK.”

bos white sox

Butt he’s probably right, Romney wouldn’t have made that call. He probably wouldn’t have made his troops call home to get mommy’s permission before doing the job they were sent to do.

So all’s well that ends well, don’t you think? Bin Laden is dead, Big Guy is a hero, and as for Lady M, well it appears all those years of practice finally paid off -


And she too has reached her life’s goal:

these legs don't match mo

Finally! I found that trap door! And now, here I am - in front of the klieg lights!

Linked By: anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, and MRM on twitter, Thanks!