Thursday, May 31, 2012

“I’m younger than that now.”

I know there’s lots of other news out there about the Won’s.

mo  sidwellOn our way to find out how far above average Wee Won II is

Butt I didn’t want to give short shrift to this year’s Presidential Medal of Freedom Awards.


Big Guy gives Toni Morrison a back rub before the big presentation

As you know everything in politics is, well, political, butt this year’s winners reflect a pandering an outreach to every conceivable interest group we traditionally rely on. So let’s run through this year’s honorees:

Dolores Huerta: a socialist activist and organizer who just happens to be Hispanic! Big Guy admitted to stealing his trademark slogan “Yes We Can” from her. This time around we’ll be doing it her way: “Si, se puede.”

John Glenn: old, gray white guy. ‘Nuff said.

Gordon Hirabayashi: Japanese-American who fought the Supreme Court. And lost. There’s a lesson for you in there.

Pat Summit: hugely successful women’s basketball coach and Alzheimer’s sufferer. Emblematic of both the Republican’s War on Women and the virtues of Obamacare. (Only don’t ask where the care and feeding of Alzheimer's patients is headed.)

Toni Morrison: black female author who famously dubbed Bubba our “first black president” using the poetic license issue to all liberal authors.

Madeleine Albright: brilliant stateswoman and anti-nuke advocate who fomented world peace at any price unless we had to go to war to save the presidency (that sounds strangely familiar). She discovered late in life that she came from Jewish stock. That still doesn’t explain all those stupid pins.

Shimon Peres: President of Israel. In case Madeleine’s late-to-be-discovered Jewish roots weren’t adequate to persuade the Jewish block. And because it’s Jewish heritage month.

Jan Karski: a Polish hero who tried to stop the holocaust by warning the West. Although I think you’re all aware of the little kerfuffle caused by Big Guy’s misremembering the correct way to describe Nazi death camps. So I’m not sure we can count on the Polish resistance fighter vote this time around.

Justice John Paul Stevens: here to remind everyone that we can reach across the aisle and all just get along.

Juliette Gordon Low (posthumously): founder of Girl Scout cookies. Lady M wasn’t totally on board with this one, butt you know how important the women’s vote is.

And that brings me to Bob Dylan, Robert Zimmerman. That’s right, another white Hispanic. Although I’m not aware of him having shot any kids that look just like Big Guy’s sons.

Now I know what you’re saying: “Butt MOTUS, there are predator drones in the otherwise friendly skies and for all we know, Bill Boom Boom Ayers is manning the console:


“Well, what is going to happen to those people that we can’t re-educate, that are die-hard capitalists?” And the reply was that they’d have to be eliminated and when I pursued this further, they estimated that they’d have to eliminate 25 million people in these re-education centers.”        –Bill Ayers, in Prairie Fire

…why are you wasting our time on an irrelevant old leftie protest singer?

                             young bo obama 1981 NYdylan boots

Well, I just want to make sure nobody misunderstands the look on Bob Dylan’s face as he received his award from Big Guy.


He’s not stoned, nor is he overwhelmed by being in the presence of greatness, as were most people at the awards ceremony. The truth is, it just might have something to do with Big Guy’s really, really big agenda, his enemies lists and those drones over America.

You see, most people, including Big Guy, still think of Bobby Dylan as the “voice of a generation” and associate him with the nascent protest movement in the early ‘60’s because of his anthems like “Blowin in the Wind” and “The Times They Are-a Changin.’” He was nothing short of a leftist icon! Even Big Guy idolized this dude!

               bob-280_1349382a bo that's not my smoke-or nose

I mean, he was soooo cool! Heck, he practically invented the “change” part of HOPE and CHANGE.

Butt fewer people, including Big Guy, ever went beyond the persona of the early Dylan to see how he, shall we say, “evolved.” Indeed, as early as 1965 he was smart enough to have figured out how rackets work, and to know that he was caught in one. His epiphany had begun, and My Back Pages was the result. Go listen to a great rendition of it on Gerard’s site. He has all the lyrics posted too.

A self-ordained professor's tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
"Equality," I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now

It seems that by age 24, and much to the left’s dismay, Bobby was already “evolving” away for the authoritarianism at the heart of the “protest and liberation” movement and the smug self-righteousness he saw there. They pretended for a long time that his lyrics didn’t mean what they meant, butt what they wanted them to mean.

Bobby’s probably not a closet conservative, butt I’m fairly sure he’s a closet libertarian. Definitely not the social justice protest icon the left has frozen him in time to be. 

Still, Big Guy heard that he was a supporter back in 2008, and assumed that awarding him the Medal of Freedom would lock him in with the aging hippie baby boomer vote. And while there was a claim that Dylan was an “Obama Man” in 2008, it turns out that rumors of his support may have been greatly exaggerated. Or minimally taken out of context, misunderstood or simply ironic. As always, I report, and let you - the best snarkers and cynics in the universe – decide and deride:

What seemed to prompt him to talk to the crowd more than anything was Tony Garnier’s donning of an Obama button. It was Tony’s turn to be introduced and Bob started to chuckle a bit and said something like, “Tony Garnier over there wearing his Obama button (raises his eyebrows)…..Tony thinks it’s gonna be an Age of Light (chuckling)…..Well I was born in 1941, the year they bombed Pearl Harbor. Been living in darkness ever since……Looks like that’s all gonna change now (chuckling a bit).” Then he broke into “Blowin’ In The Wind.”


Let’s just say that puts the cool man behind the shades in a slightly different light, no?.

dylan boLower those eyebrows, Bob, or your ironic acceptance of the ironic medal from, ironically, the Agent of Change may be mis-misunderstood.

For the record, Dylan, who described himself as a born again Christian in the late 70’s perhaps ironically, I can’t say, has been dismissively even derisively written off by the left who claim that most of his music since the early sixties is “barren artistically and politically.” 

That exact same criticism has been leveled at Big Guy by the right.

Obamas_teleprompt_lee Isn’t that ironic?

Anyhoo, speaking of mis-misunderstanding, I see we have lunch with Bush today.

Whoops! That’s the wrong Bush:

610xDon’t touch me ‘bro!

It’s with the other Bushes (awkward). Followed by the unveiling of the official White House portraits of George W and Laura Bush (more awkward). Oh well, I’m sure we’ll all be grown ups. And charming. I’ll report back tomorrow.

obama-bush1Miss me yet?

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