Wow! Look at all those Julias and Julians who have already donated to our campaign chest! And still – all those composites only add up to one Sheldon Adelson (currently being investigated by Ricky’s DOJ – no connection, just a coincidence).
Don’t worry though. Team Obama’s campaign manager is totally copasetic with Team Romney out-raising them on the campaign trail these last few months (possibly due to the $300 million head start).
In his latest email blast Howdy Messina told the troops not to worry, because he’s okay with the “Romney money juggernaut.” Maybe it’s because that “juggernaut” is technically
a lie a bit of an exaggeration, as Team O actually has a $300 million advantage to date and is well on track for reaching our historic $1 billion campaign kitty. Wow! If only Team O could translate that money handling prowess to writing a federal budget, or reducing the federal deficit!
Anyway, with that kind of money we should be able to make up a few more felonies to pin onto Mitt’s wrap sheet before November 6. That should be enough to deflect everything away from our, ahem, “record” and put Willard away permanently.
Honestly, although we’ve already raised more money than Fort Knox from the “I Hate America” crowd (yes Sean, I’m talking about you),
we’re going to continue fundraising and playing the underdog card. Because, honestly, what better way to go up against a rich white guy who hates women and wants them to die of cancer?
That of course means that we will continue to spend the next 3 months lining our coffers. We want to make sure we have enough left over for a really swell victory party and a well-earned holiday vacay as far away from here as we can get.
So last night Big Guy shut down the city again to attend a $40k per head bash at the swanky W hotel (ironic, no?).
President Barack Obama is holding a private fundraiser at a hotel near the White House to bolster his re-election effort.
The Obama campaign says the fundraiser at the W Hotel is with about 20 supporters paying $40,000 a person to attend. The campaign said the president was also giving a campaign update to 25 supporters before the fundraiser.
The money will benefit the Obama Victory Fund, a joint fundraising committee of the Obama campaign, the Democratic National Committee and several state Democratic parties. Both events were closed to reporters.
Obama has trailed Republican candidate Mitt Romney in fundraising during the past three months. Obama and the DNC raised $75 million in July, well below the $101 million that Romney and the Republican National Committee raised during the month.
And whether that “W” stands for “George W” or “Willard,” I’ve heard that Big Guy’s going to sign an executive order right after the reelection requiring them to change it to the “O” Hotel. He’d do it now, butt he doesn’t want to be accused of an abuse of power before the reelection.
Getting back to the campaign though, you’ve probably noticed that there’s been a lot of heated rhetoric being used in campaign ads lately. You’ll be glad to hear that Jay Jay took the high road yesterday and said categorically that “this advertisement is categorically false and it is blatantly dishonest.”
I don’t know what ad he WAS talking about, only that he was NOT talking about the “Romney killed this man’s wife” ad. That was put out by Big Guy’s Super PAC so naturally, no one – and I mean NO ONE - on the O Team knows ANYTHING about it:
Shark alert around around 3:20! Who the heck is Babe Buchanan, and does she have a sister at home? OK then, a brother?
Hmmm. It looks like, along with everything else on our plate, we’re going to have to get our CNN lapdogs back in line. What the heck do they think they’re doing over there? We’ve already got one “fair and balanced” cable network and that’s one more than we need.
So, don’t forget to send us some money today. We need it to fight against the 1% - who want to poison the air, push granny over the cliff, deny women health care, take food out of your mouth and kill your babies. Oh, and increase your taxes in order to spread it around to the rest of the 1%.
Please, I’m begging you. Help us close this gap today.