Friday, March 15, 2013

New Sequester Diet Cuts Royal Food Taster

Stop the madness! Big Guy’s Royal Food Taster has been sequestered!

royal food taster copy

The entire charm offensive fell apart yesterday when BO was unable to break bread with the loyal opposition because he suspected them of trying to poison him. Mark my words; when the entire government shuts down because the R-words won’t roll over and give Big Guy the tax increase he wants accept Big Guy’s magnanimous compromise and agree to a balanced approach to the budget, it will be due to this foolish – and probably racist - sequester cut.

Let me explain: yesterday Big Guy reached way across the aisle and agreed to actually go to Capitol Hill and have lunch with a select group of R-words. The Daily Caller reports that Senator Susan Collins (RHINO-ME) arranged the special menu:

“University of Maine recipe for healthy lobster salad — I pointed that out to the president in keeping with the first lady’s initiatives and Fox Family Potato Chips made in Aroostook County where I’m from and wild blueberry pie full of anti-oxidants, see this was a healthy lunch as well. We did have a little ice cream on the pie too, also made in Maine, Gifford’s Ice Cream. So in all seriousness this was well received,” Collins told reporters on Thursday after the meeting at the Capitol.

Sounds yummy and right up Big Guy’s alley. BUTT, his SS bosses  wouldn’t let him eat anything because his Royal Food Taster had been sequestered. By-the-by, these are the same mean spirited SS bosses who won’t let Big Guy offer Big White tours to sweet little school children. I think we need to fire them.


Sen. Collins reflected the R-words reaction to Big GUy’s refusal to eat: “...apparently he has to have essentially a taster, and I pointed out to him that we were all tasters for him, that if the food had been poisoned all of us would have keeled over.

In addition to the lost yardage in Big Guy’s charm offensive, our SS storm troopers are “claiming” that Lady M ordered them to sequester the taster.

I don’t know why she would do that either.

ObamaObama-eating-pizzaimagesCABJNS1Ttumblr_mascqaTh9V1r7vrbro1_400food-tasterObama 2008

Presidents never used to have food tasters, butt a few months back, after learning that throughout history the most powerful emperors, monarchs and dictators had them, Big Guy put one in the budget. Before that, he just let others start eating first.

barack-obama-eating-waffles-from-chefs-choice“So, your waffle’s good, huh? Still feelin’ ok buddy?”


obama  have dinner with barack“Go ahead and start. Don’t wait for them to bring my plate. No, really, I insist.”


alg-barackobama-jpg“Have her try this Belgian waffle…and the sausage links”

Don’t worry though, Big Guy didn’t have to go hungry. He enjoyed a bowl of previously tested sugary cereal after the meeting. Looks like the charm offensive is still in force after all.

obama charms

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network