Big Guy just signed historic legislation into law expanding the “definition” of “Women” to include; lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, Native Americans and illegal aliens.*
Wow! That makes them all eligible to receive free Fluke (rhymes with duck) condoms for life!
* NOTE: This offer does not apply in Afghanistan where they operate under sharia law, or Iran where they do not have the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender phenomenon.
The downside of course is that they will all be victims of the R-word’s war on women and will be blocked from rising to the top corporate ranks by the glass ceiling and will have to work for lower pay than their male counterparts. Butt speaking of parts, they will get to vote like their lady parts depend on it! Although, I suppose they already did last November.
Val-Jar penned an article for the state controlled HufPo explaining the benefits of the newly re-vitamized Violence Against Women Act:
...This Act will help by requiring colleges and universities to provide information to students about dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking and improve data collection about these crimes...
I’m sure providing “rape whistles” and “information” and collecting “data” are very important weapons in preventing violent crimes against women, butt I think there may be some things that work even better.
Butt back to the all important issue of ethnic and gender demographics. I know what you’re thinking, “MOTUS; I get the inclusion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and Mexicans as women, makes sense. Butt what’s up with the Indians?” Well, as you accurately observed, Big Guy has a soft spot in his heart for those large, voting blocks, butt with the Indians, he’s going for something else. It’s part of a much bigger deal to get the Indians to stop trying to scalp his Washington Redskins.
If you’re not a big Redskins fan, and if you don’t live in the DC area you most likely aren’t, you probably haven’t heard about the attempts by the PC police to take away our team moniker, logo and mascot. They just want to whack them!
You may not think this will impact you, butt I promise if they get our Redskins, they won’t stop there. Next they’ll be coming after something you care about:
The NCAA, with headquarters in Indianapolis, has already instituted a ban on Indian mascots:
“Nicknames or mascots deemed "hostile or abusive" would not be allowed on team uniforms or other clothing beginning with any NCAA tournament after Feb. 1, said Harrison, the University of Hartford's president.”
Already in NCAA sights (can I say that?)
[Ed. note: Spokesperson for the NCAA, Walter Harrison is president of the University of Hartford which does not have an Indian nickname or mascot. Butt it does have and an animal.]
And if the Hawks are in trouble, imagine the grief the Williams College Ephs are going to get for their purple cow mascot:
Holly smokes! Look at the time! I’m already an hour late for my big pow wow with Lady M’s big, historic, 50th birthday party planners. Damn daylight savings time!
Well, I better hit the trail, Kimosabe, we’re burning daylight.
Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network