MOTUS A.D.: If You Like Your Genes You Can Keep Your Genes

Friday, June 14, 2013

If You Like Your Genes You Can Keep Your Genes

Did you see yesterday’s unanimous Supreme Court decision on Myriad Genetics patent on genes? The Supremes said you can’t patent something that you didn’t invent.

Justice Clarence Thomas wrote the decision for a unanimous court. "Myriad did not create anything," Thomas said. "To be sure, it found an important and useful gene, but separating that gene from its surrounding genetic material is not an act of invention."

In essence the court found that Myriad Genetics didn’t build their genes on their own. Somebody else did that for them.

So that’s good news; being able to keep your genes I mean.

Let me provide you with a quickie course in genetics for those of you who didn’t major in biology.

First of all genes serve a specific purpose:

Which should be self-evident

there are Mom genes:

And Dad genes.

Genes come in all colors:

Black:

White:

Black and white:

And everything in-between:

Genes tend to pass on their characteristics to offspring:

Genes dictate everything from looks to talent. For example there are dancing genes:

Dancing Mom genes

and LGBT dancing genes:

As well as your plain old fashioned wuss genes:

Jean Karré throws a pass

Then you’ve got your smart genes:

your really smart genes:

Your really, really smart double-helix genes:

and then you have your not-so-smart genes:

Nice socks!

The court didn’t, however, say that there wasn’t a role for manufactured genes:

But the court held out a lifeline to Myriad Genetics, the company with an exclusive patent on the isolated form of genes that can foretell an increased genetic risk of cancer. The justices said it can patent a type of synthesized DNA that goes beyond extracting the genes from the body.

That’s good news! The completely synthetic, manufactured genes are a keeper!

Manufactured genes: good for propaganda purposes

And that means that Lady M’s 100% synthetic Caboodle genes are safe as well!

MO’s Caboodle Jeans

So allow me to recap this very important Supreme Court decision: if you like your genes, you can keep your genes. Just like your healthcare plans.

Be sure to say “thank you” at the mid-term election.

Unless of course we decide to replace your genes with some GMO (genetically modified organisms) of our own design that we think will work better. Because remember, you didn’t make those genes on your own, somebody else did that for you.