MOTUS A.D.: That’s Mighty Red, White and Blue of You

Thursday, July 21, 2016

That’s Mighty Red, White and Blue of You

RNC, day 3. Here’s my rundown.

Laura Ingraham – I like to call her “Dr. Laura” butt will restrain from doing so for fear of driving more potential new readers away due to “having my head up my butt” – was great. Loved the way she went after the the skinny jeans, man-bun wearing pajama boys.

I’m still a bit cheezed about her cheezing in on my gig, butt I’m going to be classy and set that aside for the good of the party. Besides, I think she’d make an awesome replacement for Megyn.

Ted Cruz disappointed. I better leave it at that. All I can say is no wonder he doesn’t have any friends. Butt if I begin questioning my prior judgement everything might fall apart, and I don’t want to be responsible for that.

Eric Trump: Nice speech; now please, give your father your new barber’s telephone number. I highly approve of the makeover.

I’ve been trying to tell your Dad, hairdos do matter.

And then there was Newt, our next (hopefully) Secretary of State. He spun Cruz’s non endorsement of Trump into an endorsement and simultaneous condemnation of Hillary.

Calling Newt: Clean-up on aisle 3!

Then he proceeded to scare the bejeebers out of us - lest we forget for 10 minutes that we live in a very dangerous world (Thanks, Obama!) and that’s why we’re voting for Trump.

Wrapping up the night, Mike Pence. I have to say, he’s not very exciting butt how much more excitement can this party take? He seems solid and likable despite having 3 strikes against him: Christian, conservative, and Republican.

That’s mighty red, white and blue of you, Mike! Way to go!