Wednesday, March 7, 2018

#OpenWhineWednesday: Or Why You Can’t Look More Like Sharon Stone.

I was reading an article on the NYT site (related to yesterday’s post but not good enough to bother linking) when this headline popped up in their annoying animated sidebar feature:  “You Won’t Look Like Sharon Stone at 59.” Of course not, you morons – Sharon Stone doesn’t even look like Sharon Stone at 59.

sharon stone at 59

Which is not to say she isn’t gorgeous as she assuredly is, but nobody, I don’t care how much high grade cosmetic surgery, fillers, plumpers and Botox you’ve had, looks like they did as a 30-something three decades hence. I knew this was click-bait  but clicked anyway, certain there would be something here worth an open-whine-Wednesday post. I was not disappointed.

The alleged “article” was actually hawking 33 (I counted) beauty items that Sharon claims she keeps at the ready in her “go bag” in order to maintain her youthful appearance. And if you believe that, she’d be happy to cook you up a nice Lapin a La Cocotte for dinner.


So what we have here is an extended commercial for several dozen “beauty” products parading as a feature article in America’s newspaper of record – precisely the way their opinion pieces parade as news. Not to worry though, like the hard news writers Sharon takes great care to cover her deceit in something intended to sound true and sincere. So after hawking the 33 essential beauty products she uses regularly she assures us that beauty is not just superficial:

Also, for me, it’s more about real inner beauty. It’s important to have a philosophy or way of life or faith that keeps you balanced. For me, that has been Buddhism. It’s something that brings you back to center, and is really the key to serenity and beauty — an internal sense of form and elegance.

Sharon_Stone_by_Gage_Skidmore_3How about you tuck some of that “internal elegance” back in

You may be interested to know that some of Sharon’s inner beauty comes from Galderma, a maker of facial fillers and plumpers. In fact Sharon is a spokesmouth/face for the company’s aesthetics treatments in a campaign to demonstrate natural-looking, real-life results of Restylane fillers and Skinboosters.

And don’t think for a moment that Ms. Stone doesn’t practices what she preaches:

As reported, the 58-year-old sexpot was recently caught outside Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon Bernard Markowitz’s office holding “smoking gun” evidence of a Botox-like procedure.

Stone, 58, was photographed with a cold compress — which a renowned plastic surgeon identified as “a staple of aftercare for Botox and filler treatments.”

And that my friends is why you won’t look like Sharon Stone when you’re 59, and neither does she.


Sharon Stone, bravely posting her plumped, filled and ‘toxed 59 year old face with and without makeup on Instagram. Why can’t you be more like her?

Just a reminder, this is what Sharon Stone looked like about 7 years ago, before she decided she didn’t want to look like like Sharon Stone at 59 either:

sharon stone

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