Friday, September 4, 2009

Doing The Work Of The American People

It’s no Martha’s Vineyard, but here we are at Camp David for the Labor Day Weekend.


And labor we will. The joint chiefs think we’re going to be plowing through the new military strategy for Afghanistan, but truthfully, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.

We need to work on two big speeches. First, the back-to-school speech that Big Guy’s giving to every school kid in America on September 8. As it turns out, we’re going to need our little army of brown shirts sooner than we thought.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that the teachers haven’t done a good job for the last 25 years in their indoctrination efforts. Lord, no. They pretty much have the current generation in lock-step on everything from global warming, to Bobby-has-two mommies, to not eating trans-fatty acids.

But when it comes to the final, full bore into our Marxist utopia, we need to bring in the really big gun: OBAMA-MAN.

super obama

So, Big Guy is going to tell the little children why it’s their patriotic duty to be a part of something bigger than themselves, and nag their parents until they, too, believe that the public option is the only moral way to address health care. Because after all, who knows better than the innocent little pawns children?

Then we have to work on the speech to the joint session of Congress on September 9 about health care reform. He’s going to take the reins on this run-away pony back from Pelosi and Reid, both of whom only seem to know how to ride side-saddle.

This issue is a little trickier. We have to explain how our health care reform is going to be everything that anybody wants, and nothing that anyone doesn’t. But don’t worry – that’s what Big Guy’s best at. And Lady M can help here too: she was a Community Outreach Coordinator for the University of Chicago Hospital. And believe me, she has finessed more than a few troubling health issues.

So, a lot of work cut out for us this weekend. That doesn’t mean there’s not going to be time for plenty of s’mores and lots of caviar and champagne. We must keep our strength up for all of the challenges ahead.