Wednesday, February 3, 2010

We’ve Just Gotten Too Fat

A very busy week! Yesterday a meeting in the old family dining room with Cabinet and Congressional members to tell them about our all out attack on childhood obesity. Actually, we had to explain to some of them that the recession is not part of this campaign. And it seems there are still a few of them who think we should cut the fat out of the budget before we start picking on the kids’ lunch boxes.

Please note that at both of these appearances, we wore gently used clothes from a previous life. The only new item was our wig, but that wasn’t really optional, if you’ve been paying attention.

motweed5

Tuesday with the health czar and an ancient senator who won’t be effected by the health care bill he’s “hawking”  (just a little Iowa humor, Senator Harkin).

motweed oldSame tweed suit on the campaign trail way back in ‘08, when we were still all about change. 

Then today, something much more fun: a love fest on the Today show with Matt Lauer! For this love-fest we chose a dress that we’ve  worn a couple of times before too. It really shows off our best assets:

imageLady M on Today Show, where she tells Matt  “ I’ve got this husband who does these interesting things,” Do tell.

motweed7The amoeba and tweed dress at a previous appearance. 

motweed6 You can probably see why we did the Today show interview sitting down.

We added our new signature pearls for Matt too, because Mo is starting to figure out that all those spidery brooches she likes so much just scare the American people – kind of like Big Guy’s legislative policies. The handlers are now trying to make her look more – well - normal. We’ll see how that works out. No word yet from BO’s handlers, but it looks like he’s doubling down. He told the people in New Hampshire yesterday that his Obamacare bill was a “big, complicated bill,” that he knows “scares the daylights out of people.” Don’t you just love it when he gets down with his homies?

Actually, there are two reasons for all of MO’s recycling: First, maybe you didn’t know, but there’s a recession going on. That’s right, we all have to tighten our belts (so to speak). Apparently that memo finally worked it’s way through the bureaucracy around here.

Secondly, for all the mean bloggers out there who keep saying how much weight Lady M has gained since getting her own personal Big White pastry chef, we wanted to show everyone that we can still wear the same outfits we did over a year ago! It just took us a little while for our full time seamstress to get enough matching fabric to complete the alterations.

So there you have it: Altering America one seam at a time.

UPDATE: The other Michelle has a must read on Lady M’s FatWar.

at 11:00 AM

20 comments:

  1. My, My, MOTUS.......I do notice the weight gain. Perhaps Oprah is living there? Its the only way she can get into the Big White! It sure looked like she snuck in there with MO for the SOTU!
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  2. "a little while for our full time seamstress to get enough matching fabric to complete the alterations"

    Wow, MEOW! Surely your refracting talents do well in situations where her "present" needs to match up a bit more with her "past presence"?

    However, there is the fact that other images of her are taken without your approval, and, of course, your talents have not been utilized. That's when we release a shudder...! of course, it's a totally reflectve action on our parts. All of us would agree, I'm sure, that we would never snigger at our FLOTUS and whatever she is wearing.

    Would we?

    Oh, I've got the solution!! There is to be a ban on any images released of FLOTUS except those approved by MOTUS! Hurrah, now our future will be filled with only wonderful images.

    Don't we all approve?

    Cricketgal
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  3. Why is she wearing a summertime sun dress on TV in February? And, an ugly one, to boot.
    I'm now convinced that all of the "best dressed" selections by the MSM were affirmative action awards. There is no way this woman should have been designated "best dressed" unless it was amended to read: "Best Dressed Current First Lady".
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  4. MOTUS, I was going to suggest that this is a urgent case for Lipo but on second thought, removing that much fat at one time might be dangerous. We all know what a busy, busy schedule Big MO's 20 assistants map out for her; when on Earth could she work in 10 follow-up appointments for incremental fat removal? Plus, with that darned pastry chef in-house, she might put it right back on between appointments. I see no solution beyond wiring her jaws shut, accessorized with sipping straws (naturally, in designer colors). That, of course, would serve an even higher purpose in that we wouldn't have to hear her ridiculous proclamations on childhood obesity or beg us to help the poor starving orphans in Haiti while she chows down on Kobe beef, lobster, champagne and Creme Brule.

    BTW, her flat chest and stringy (second only to Madona's ugly, over-exercised biceps) arms only serve to accentuate that ginormous ass of hers (and I don't mean her husband, The Dear Reader either).
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  5. OMG! Could she look any worse than in that pic? Ginormous ass indeed! I think the iceberg that sank the Titanic was smaller. And with her mother there in the WH, why isn't she nagging MO to stand up straight? Good posture can make you look pounds slimmer and, frankly, MO could use the help.
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  6. I've wondered why Mrs Robinson doesn't intervene with First Lady Obama's posture and wardrobe.

    There just comes a time when someone has to speak up, if for no other reason than to prevent a loved one from making a fool of themselves.
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  7. MOTUS,
    That is a very ugly dress. Whoever designed it needs to be out of business.
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  8. MOTUS: You said MO wore that dress to appear with Matt Lauer because it 'really shows off our best assets'. My question is which assets would those be? Do you mean the fried to a crisp, shaved portion of scalp that peeks out the left side (her left) of her wig near the top?

    Personally I liked the wig she wore with that "Matt Lauer" dress much better than the bob she's chosen to wear now! That hair was more flattering and you didn't see the shaved scalp....just sayin'.

    Oh silly me! Now that I've looked at the picture again I realize you meant the maroon sort of belt that was in the right location was the asset, okay! It is in the right place and does appear to fit well also. How right you were to call that an asset.

    Does she need the "extra firm hold" model of Spanx now? Or maybe just an old fashioned girdle? Just asking cuz she looks slightly pregnant when standing up in the Matt Lauer dress....or is there a new BO on the way?
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  9. Amoebas and tweed...ahahhahahahah. My little dog threw up something this morning that looked a lot like that shirt pattern.

    I couldn't think of this before (too much going on at home) but I suddenly remembered what Mo's clothes remind me of: anyone here over 45 probably remembers those kits you could get to make Barbie clothes, the really lame stuff made of chintz? Try as you might you could not get a proper fit. Midge always ended up with them, in my Barbie box.

    I never know what to think of MO's arms. She really does have fabulous skin, I have to say that, thanks to MOTUS it's her one virtue. But the rest of her is left off the work out, and that means she's trying to appear strong, not dainty, but ready to throw down. I always notice that pinky finger thingy though - her little finger is always sticking way out there, disassociated from the rest of her hand. I doubt MOTUS can unentitle that princess gesture, no matter how many chips she gets installed!
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  10. MOTUS meant the belt?? I thought she meant the 19th century rug and Duncan Phyfe chair. Or maybe Barbara B's pearls.
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  11. Madame DeFarge, you mentioned liposuction. There is a form of lipo that would do Meeshelle some good. It's where they suck the fat out of the butt, or thighs and inject it into the boobs. Seriously, it's a real procedure, and is said to be healthier since it's the patients own tissue and not implants with silicone or saline. Of course, it gives a whole new twist to the phrase, "Kiss my @ass". Hehehe.
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  12. I've heard about that form of Lipo, FlDemFem. But after giving her triple E's what would they do with the other 40 lbs of toxic waste?

    She has so much Botox in her forehead, she cannot frown ever again. My, what a serene forehead you have Big MO! I love the "body language" gal on O'Reilly tonight saying Big Mo showed contempt in her mouth pucker when he asked her a question about The Dear Reader. Even when you can't scowl, you can't hide disdain and contempt for Whitey can you Big Mo? Back atcha.
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  13. I'd never heard of that type of lipo FLDemFem! Wow, that's pretty cool! I'd use that buy I don't need more up top *sigh*
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  14. Madame,
    Poor old "Pucker Puss". Things are not working out for the big Zero as she thought they would. Can't wait to see her reaction if the Repubs make substantial gains in Nov.
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  16. Well, that worked out. Thought for a minute it was time to slowly roast the grandson.

    I hear you Funky. Miss the wee girls, I do.

    Madame, I saw that pucker in the video. Also, each tim eshe began to give a passionate response about how "regular" they were she blinked furiously, the indication of a lie, due to the body's response to lying in hiding the pupils. Axe the hubbie about his secretary and check it out.

    "sniff"

    Gawd I love being a MOL.
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  17. MOTUS, I am very concerned about that poor young woman in the last photo. Mo is clearly not hungry, as her voluminous abdomen indicates she has just devoured someone else, but her grip on that poor little woman and the look on her face is of one about to take charge of a double decker with cheese on rye.

    Maybe she's just looking at the victim's pearls.
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  18. MOTUS, in that photo '08 campaign tweedy photo thing at the top - what is that up her sleeve? An aspercreme pad? A dirty hankie? Do tell...
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  19. bettyann, I agree. And let that be a lesson to all of us about glutony. Gorge yourself on lobster and Kobe beef and face the consequences of looking and acting like a pig.
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  20. My dad used to call it, "feeding at the public trough". Did you see what their peddling as a healthy breakfast for kids -Meshelle's cook protege cooked breakfast with little poor kids and the slimmed down Al Roker (they included a token blond home schooler. I guess if Meshelle's boy-toy Chicago cook w no nutritional education can lead a nutrition inititiative, it really is a society where yes you too can rise above your pay grade and abilitiy. There's your hopey.
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