Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Work of the Fashion Forward is Never Done

Boy, fighting obesity has almost turned into a full time job for Lady M. It’s a good thing she has so much experience in this area and can do it pretty much on cruise control now. Because otherwise it could really begin to negatively impact her day job: World-Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ 

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Yesterday Lady M met with the whole No Fat Child’s Behind obesity task force. Geeze, talk about a bunch of dweeby wonks. And, not to be mean or anything, but aside from the king of the geeky wonks, Peter Orszag, this anti-fat group carries a lot of weight, and I’m not speaking metaphorically.

peter

 

 

 Peter Orszag from the Office of Management and Budget: this is what Big Guy thinks a smart guy looks like

 

Regina Benjamin: this is what a Surgeon General looks likeregina-benjamin-240bs072009

I’m not quite clear on what the purpose of the meeting was, but Lady M kicked it off and it sounded really important. Next, Petey O  showed off his knowledge of behavioral economics (the fact that everyone there knew what behavioral economics is tells you about everything you need to know.) Then Surgeon General Regina B noted that corporations should provide female employees with a clean and private place to breast-feed because, she said, research has shown that children who are breast-fed for the first six months of their lives are less likely to become obese.Who knew! And here’s good news: someone on some Congressman’s staff was totally up to speed on this critical research (that I’m certain is backed up by a first rate epidemiological study) because someone already stuck that requirement in the Obamacare Bill. I actually think this could be a real win-win for Starbucks.

And then, the best part – breakout sessions for brainstorming! Yippee! Who doesn’t like a good brainstorm? Plus, we got to leave at that point, because brainstorming is really busy work for the little people.

So while we left the wonks back at the ranch to work out the details of No Child’s Fat Behind on their own, we were off to the Pentagon to thank our military personnel and to remind them of all of the wonderful things that Big Guy’s administration has done for them. Although I don’t think they have a clean and private place for female Pentagon employees to breast-feed yet.

Such a busy day. Not even time to change our clothes. But then, it was a nice opportunity to show off our dress in the light of day, because the skirt has an odd interesting effect, fading to purple.mo and gates

I suppose it could be a subtle signal to Andy Stern that our War on Fat will result in a huge increase in work for his peeps. Or it might just be fashion forward. Because Lady M’s work is never done.

37 comments:

  1. That is one funny-looking lectern. Michelle should not use a lectern that resembles a fat-bottomed woman.
    I think she should've waited to wear that outfit until she came back from Mexico (remember, talking to the children and she doesn't speak Spanish) and maybe some surgical help?
    It is such a comfort that Michelle NEVER disappoints: she's always dreadful, always vulgar. Princeton must be as proud of her as we are.

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  2. So brainy and smart! Geez, how did the behavioral economists miss the fact that people would start bailing on their loan obligations once their houses were worth less than the loans. Naw, people wouldn't do that! Where can I get me one of them Ivy League diplomas?

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  3. The dress looks like First Granny whipped it up on the WH Singer after the cocktail hour. MO seems to believe that America wishes to view her slight cleavage along with her "toned and burnished arms" and her greasy legs.
    How gracious of her to remind the Pentagon that BO's continuation of the 2 war fronts has provided them with job security.
    And, what better spokesperson for the FatKidsBehind program than the obese Surgeon General.
    I, for one, am so grateful that our government is only looking out for our country's best interest by keeping all of the children's BMI at the optimum range by eliminating their parent's jobs so that there isn't much to eat at their homes.

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  4. *snore*snore*snore*
    !
    Oh, excuse me. I must have fallen asleep in the 70s and now that I woke up I GUESS IT'S STILL THE 70s. Abortion overload, breast feeding in the workplace, going braless (even when you seriously should not), tie-dye clothing... what's next?

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  5. Ladies! Y'all are missing the obvious, and we should rejoice in this because we don't see it too often..... There's NO Boob Belt!!!

    Not only that, but the shoes actually seem to match a swatch area on the top!

    AND! The cardigan actually appears to be near her size!!!

    This is progress ladies. Such as that may be, and I think that's a good sign... for today.

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  6. All I can see are fat ugly knees.

    Anon 2

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  7. Anon2, an absence of the ubiquitous boob belt is a small mercy, and yes, the cardi is almost a fit. "Progress" of a small sort perhaps.

    But there's just no help for the slouchy posture, sullen demeanor, and hectoring speeches! Look at that first picture. The forever put-upon MeShill sucks all the joy out of life, regardless of the cute sunshiny sartorial attempt to fool her audience into a sense of springtime.

    The dress looks limp, dirty, and cheaply made. Is there no ironing board and a $1.79 can of Faultless spray starch in the White House housekeeping department?

    And those vomitous shoes! Ugly and dumb, and they probably smell awful after a day of those gallumphing size 13s stuffed into them (sans any decent hosiery).

    This insufferable woman is a 2010 incarnation of old-school Soviet lecturers, BUTTING IN on personal aspects of national living, always tiresomely prescribing to everyone else "do as I say, not as I do."

    But oh how I do run on! MOTUS, you are such a gift to us all, remaining cheerful and positive during these trying times. Thank you for performing the arduous tasks many of us might not have the fortitude (and stomach) to undertake.

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  8. I can't make it past those horrible knees.

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  9. That dress looks like it was made from leftover Easter egg dye.

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  10. Took me a while to figure out it was a dress. The way it bunches up, it looks like an ugly shirt on top of a cheap skirt.
    Where is Carolina Herrera when we need her?

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  11. The Surgeon General is a tank.

    The First Fatty is a big nasty pear.

    Barry's a smoker.

    These fools have no business lecturing anyone about health!

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  12. As crazy as this sounds, the boob belt gives the woman some definition. And posture. She has very little without it except, of course, in her lower half. She's not the the traditional pear shape, more the alligator pear shape or avocado. I agree completely with the Easter egg dye assessment of the dress. Only adding it looks like an Easter egg gone bad - really bad.

    So in today's class we learned the boob belt has a real function and our First Lady may roll eggs but she's much better at laying them.
    Plus we learned our Surgeon General has serious gravitas when it comes to obesity.


    Mrs. P

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  13. My eyes! My eyes!

    MO is the Affirmative Action Fashion Icon.


    You know, we must grade on a curve and give stars for improvement.

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  14. Michelle's brand of style:

    DESPERATE

    boobies showing or hoo-hoo shots or slacks splitting in the no-no zone

    DESPERATE

    cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap

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  15. The Surgeon General obviously uses the same alterations person as The FFA. Hahahaha. Wink-wink. Just kidding. There isn't one!

    What can one say that hasn't been said before about the dreadful state of affairs in The FFA's bailiwick? I, for one, can't imagine a more odoriferous shoe closet since not one pair has ever been protected by a stocking. We can only hope that the shoe assistant will know enough to sprinkle the entire closet with that powdered shoe deodorizer product and start from scratch. I, myself, am never without the proper foot accessory whether it be a sport sock, knee-high or pantyhose (as well as the occasional thigh-high for a little mystery and spice)...but I digress. Even so, shoes can be sprinkled inside with Chanel (my #1 preferred scent...albeit CC's #5) body powder before putting them back in their little (or in FFA's case, 3X lg) snuggies...or PJ's as we used to call them...to keep the entire closet and contents in acceptable condition. MOTUS, maybe you can pass this tip on to The Shoe Assistant to The FFA. I'll bet the whole wardrobe crew will be most appreciative...not that they've done a blasted thing to deserve our charity or expertise. However, anything we can do to lift their spirits could ultimately serves and save the country from further embarrassment. I feel their (and your) pain. Sadly, we have a long way to go.

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  16. This dress is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. It looks like something found in a dumpster, that had been left out in the rain, making the colors run and smear. It looks like it smells bad. And this is something the flotus chooses to wear in public. Make it go away....

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  17. I believe the dress was manufactured for a Guatemalan maid...no offense intended to Guatemalan maids...but I have seen housekeepers dressed more attractively.

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  18. The dress looks like something that was at the bottom of my Grandma's rag bag. You know, where all of the clothes are well worn and smell musty?

    Ugly, ugly, ugly... and those green shoes are just...ugly.

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  19. Will some brave soul please, PLEASE tell MO that pea-green shoes do NOT go with everything? She drags out those gun boats all the time and they are NOT attractive. Does she not own a nice pair of taupe pumps?

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  20. The Surgeon General is a big tub-o-lard. A fine example for America's obese youths. Bwahahahahahahaha.......

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  21. Any time I see a pic of Big MO, I laugh because
    Barry is stuck with her.

    The two bitter socialists deserve each other.

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  22. OH No, that dress top is my Nana's tablecloth and the skirt was made from an awning. My Nana is not going to be happy about this. Not at all. (neither is the awning company, not in this economy)

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  23. What an interesting blend of baby shit greens.

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  24. Did she find that wrinkled and dirty dress rolled up in a ball at the back of her closet?

    Big MO is very sloppy.

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  25. With fresh "eyes" on the dress, I conclude that it really is an ugly frock. The neckline is too low and what woman wouldn't want all of the pleats in the skirt to be right over their tummy, like this frock. (I like the word "frock".)
    Even the uber-fans of MO can't find the right slavering, drooling praise for this frock.
    This frock is a frocking mess.

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  26. Go to Newsbird for the rear shot.

    Warning: You will go blind.

    Big MO has been described as a "cow in high heels" which sums her up perfectly.

    Ack!!!!!!

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  27. That dress looks like something a co-worker of my husband would wear.

    She comes to work each day looking like a FLAG.

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  28. Motus, you may need to resurrect the Snark awards for this round. This frocking mess, as srdem65 coins it, really inspired the MOLS!

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  29. MOTUS,
    I wish to apologize for my unkind remark about the Surgeon General. It was unnecessarily mean spirited Instead of saying she's a "big tub-o-lard" I should have said that she's a bit on the rotund side.
    There..I feel better. Now on to more important matters such as that amazingly ugly dishrag dress and those cringe inducing goose poop green shoes MOO is wearing.....

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  30. First Boobs showing
    Greasy Legs
    Ugly Dress

    A Crass Act

    We are so "lucky."

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  31. The cardigan is only 1 size too small instead of the standard MOO 2.


    MOTUS, that back view of the MOO is rather disturbing. I fear you may be relegated to a broom closet soon.

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  32. Here is what the slobbering media will write:

    "FLOTUS Michelle O. is not afraid to be bold. She steps out in vivid colors and takes the stage, no holds barred. Her playful frock shows her sense of fun on the job while her green designer heels show that she means business. Blah, blah, barf "

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  33. Excellent round, MOL's and FOM's. I've been too busy around the Big White to blog today. (We're getting ready for our trip to Meh-hee-co. Ay yi yi!!) But tune in tomorrow for my summary of Lady M's recent round of mag covers. I don't think you will be disappointed.

    (and srdem, I like the word "frock" too. It just works somehow.)

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  34. PS You must all read Fausta's post, linked right below the comments. Where it says "Links to this post." Excellent! (And it links to us

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  35. My new tag line:

    FLOTUS FASHIONS: Recycling tablecloths and tiedyes since 2008!

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  36. When I see her outfits, I always think of Suri Cruise. You need to do side by side comparisons.

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  37. This is the same dress she wore in the infamous "umbrella" pic in New Orleans. When she sits in it, she gets to show off her thunderthighs. most of the way up....
    As the ever wise Kardashians said she looks 'fake poor' in her attempts to recycle thousand dollar dishrags.  We can expect more 'recycling' from this odious woman in the coming year. To compensate for her suffering, Barry will dream up a few more fake 'business' trips for her. There are all those fat kids in Florence, Paris, and Africa. There will be few fat kids left here, since her program is such a stunning success....

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