Sunday, April 11, 2010

Beauty is in the Eye of the Traveler

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Lady M never really wanted to be FLOTUS. Despite her Ivy League credentials and off-the-charts smarts, she secretly always wanted to be a super model. So of course it hurt a little when Iman told Parade magazine that “Mrs. Obama is not a great beauty. But she is so interesting looking and so bright.”

Swell, Iman. We think you’re “interesting looking” too. For a skinny  b***h.   iman-cosmetics-400a121307_000“When you’re a great beauty, it’s always downhill for you.”

Don’t expect a lot of sympathy from Lady M when you reach the bottom, honey.

Although, after reading what Lady M said in the May Conde Nast Traveler’s  issue, I don’t think she would have been very happy with all the fame and paparazzi that surrounds supermodels:

I would love, and so would the President, to be able to walk up and down the Mall … when there are millions of people there … She adds conspiratorially, “I want to get on the Metro.” (I  don’t dare tell her that there are a whole lot of people who’d like to put her on the Metro, too.)

She continues that being the President’s wife can be a pain – especially when you’re hungry. “It’s like ‘Okay, we’re going to that restaurant, and everyone’s going to get mad, ‘cause I’m there eating my hamburger,”  (again, I don’t want to be the one to tell her that’s not what they’re mad about)

But seriously, I think MO could have been one of the great black supermodels - if she hadn’t decided to sacrifice herself for the American people instead. Just look at all the things she has in common with them:

Like Iman, she’s married to a rock star.

fashion-graphics-2_1086816a  article-1090653-025D3606000005DC-143_468x568

While she’s never been arrested like Naomi Campbell for throwing her cell phone at one of her assistants, or spitting at a police officer,

Naomi-Campbell-21613Mo does know how to show disdain for the little people when necessary (like when she doesn’t get enough Crème fraiche with her beluga, or her foie gras hasn’t been seared correctly,) and she has carla-bruni_michelle-obama had “her days.”

Plus, both she and Naomi are known for their community service:

naomi-campbell-community-service article-1159792-03C26E33000005DC-117_468x386

And like Tyra Banks, she sometimes needs a little industrial strength Spanx to “stay on the runway.”

tyra-banks-fat-swimsuit bathing moinsuit12

Aside from that, I think she looks quite at home with the rest of these fabulous black super models:

imagesCAWM3CAKmichelle o photo


good houskeepingiman22

Iman michelle-obama-iman-split-2  Tyra-Banks-purple-2 nm_michelle_obama1_080707_ssh tyrabanks-harpersbazaar    michelle.glamourmag_250x340 610x-102 naomi's boob belt 

 20090407_mobamaoutfits_090223_1%20-%2032 portal-graphics-20_1157004a  20091228_mobama_091214 PicImg_Naomi_Campbell_takes_8ba4 iman_300x580   copen2 naomi 1 michelle-obama-best-of-03-de-71457374

Am I wrong? What - you don’t think they get help too? Oh sure, they don’t have a NASA designed high tech image refracting mirror at their service 24/7, but it’s amazing what you can do with just Photoshop and a little airbrushing.

So congratulations, Lady M, on being selected for the cover of this month’s copy of Conde Nast Traveler!

obama_newyorkercover Hiiiiiiiiiiiii! Come on in!!!

Just one more homage to you and Big Guy as the world class travelers you are. Or as they used to refer to them in the Village, fellow travelers.