Saturday, April 17, 2010

Way, Way Above My Paygrade

Wow! I had no idea you could make this kind of dough from, ahem, “writing” books. $5.5 million! 


Maybe I should start shopping around for an agent. You know, just in case our hopenchange turns into a dopeforexchange in the next election cycle. Because frankly, I have a bad feeling that no matter what I say, the next guy (or gal) is going to think I was complicit in this reign of terror error. I wonder if I have to wait till the O’s are gone to write my book? I just don’t know how these tell-all books work.

Alternatively, I was thinking of asking Big Guy for a raise. Oh sure, I know I’m civil service. But even he must know that I’m operating way, way above my pay grade.

MichelleAirforceOne Exhibit 1: Lady M, after trans-imaging for date night







that's the power of transimaging copy_thumb[1]Exhibit 2: Before and after trans-imaging 

So here’s my argument, your critiques, as always, are welcome.

“Since you and Lady M are now making the big bucks - and I think $5.5 million firmly places you above “middle class.”  In fact, I think you now technically qualify as one of those “fat cats” - like on Wall Street? What would you think about spreading the wealth around a little, because I have 34 family members who are currently unemployed due to our jobless recovery who I’m trying to help out.  Or, alternatively, if you want to eliminate the middle man, you could just spread some of your extraordinary wealth to them directly (a really feel-good gesture). That way, you’d feel good, my relatives would be grateful and I wouldn’t have to pay income taxes on it before passing it on to them - they’re getting a bit high: taxes, that is, not my relatives. I see that you and Lady M paid $1.8 million in federal income taxes this year. That really bites doesn’t it? Anyway, I would greatly appreciate any small increase you could afford to pay me, even if it’s just overtime pay for all the special trips Lady M and I go on.”HOW ABOUT A RAISE

I’ve never asked for a raise before, so I’m not exactly sure if this is a good strategy or not. What do you think?

Just an afterword: You don’t suppose the O’s just ran for President in order to increase the sales on BO’s audacious books do you?

osaviorDreams of Valhalla; the Audacity of the Dope

That’s one awesome marketing strategy! Maybe Big Guy’s a  capitalist after all! At least the huge book sales explain all the comments I hear around here about the “cash cow.” I admit – I was thinking what you were thinking.

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