Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Elena: Super Spy

elena 10Does this woman look like a Ruskie spy to you? 

Russian spies, BP lies, recession reprise, energy bill dies, border policy unwise and approval ratings demise. So far, not a good week.

Aside from Elena’s confirmation hearings – which are playing to rave reviews – this week is turning into a real bummer. We’re even getting lectures now from Pootie Putin – he thinks our cops are out of control, throwing too many people in jail. In a sane universe, that would be quite funny coming from the gulag capital of the world, but in our world we’re probably going to have to apologize for arresting the Ruskie spies. But Pootie has nothing to worry about: in our country where freedom is valued above all else, we just put our Commie’s on the Supreme Court.

So thank goodness we’ve got Elena to break a bit of the tension around here. She’s turning the Senate hearing into a stand-up routine worth of the Poconos: even telling jokes about Jews spending Christmas in Chinese restaurants! It’s a good thing she’s a Democrat, or that crack would have been taken as a sign of insensitivity towards the Chinese.

Her habit of talking with her hands has been good for a few laughs too. Here she is demonstrating a) how close to Communism she thinks we can get without going overboard, b) how much of the Constitution she thinks is not subject to judicial activism, and  c) how big she thinks something is, but I missed exactly what she was referring too.

elena8 elena5 elena2

Meanwhile, the Interweb is lit up with contests about who Elena was separated at birth from. So far the front runners are Kevin James and Chas (nee Chastity) Bono. But the polls aren’t closed yet. Be sure to submit your entries as well. I think the prize is pocket size copy of the US Constitution. It may turn out to be a collectors edition, so don’t delay.

james-kagan copy Kevin and Ellie


chas-kagan copy Chas and Ellie


hugo-kagan copy Hugo and Ellie

 mo-kagan copy MO and Ellie

Thank goodness no one else has noticed the resemblance between Lady M and Ellie, so don’t mention it to anyone. The only thing so far that anyone has noted they have in common is the fact that they can both fly. Without broomsticks.

icanfly Lady M prepares for lift-off in Nevada

elena can fly too

Ellie demonstrates her “I am woman, see me soar”  Superwoman stance at the hearings.


(more observations at Dewey)