Yesterday marked a very historic day for Lady M. Whereas in the past we’ve promoted our “No Childs’ Fat Behind” initiative by participating in a variety of “Moo-ves” …
We’ve run,
jumped,
marched,
dodged toilet plungers,
and flown.
We’ve played soccer,
and baseball,
and, of course, hoops,
But yesterday brought another historical first: something we’ve never seen a FLOTUS do before, in an official capacity: football, American style.
of course, MO also ran,
jumped,
and flew (again),
but it was her skill at football that impressed the most.
She was taking yet another page out of her “WWJD” (What Would Jackie Do) notebook. Unfortunately, she failed to note that when Jackie played touch football at the Kennedy compound on Hyannis Port, it was with family members only, and, according to resident historians, she “ran like a gazelle” not a line backer.
But Jackie remains the only First Lady that MO wants to emulate, certain in her mind that if she does, her poll numbers will head back into the stratosphere, rather than continue to slink to Imelda Marcos levels. Perhaps we could start by learning how to ski and ride like Jackie did:
Although, to be honest, those athletic endeavors are a little, uh, white. So I don’t know if MO will be all that interested.
So I’m thinking maybe we could start with something less racist: like sitting. I’ve seen many black women sit like Jackie, including Condoleeza and even Desi. I think it’s a relatively easy skill to learn, but like all habits, will take repetitive practice in order to stick. I think it would be a nice gesture if she were to master this tricky “move” and pass it on to her own daughters before it becomes completely archaic.
But of course, as is always the case when we schedule a big announcement like the official Fall Kickoff of “No Childs’ Fat Behind,” we had several wardrobe changes throughout the day. Here’s the pre-game, pep rally frock:
Our favorite Moschino Skittles dress with sparkly built in boob belt
Close-up of the Skittles
Here’s how the skittle dress looked on us at it’s debut back on Stinco de Mayo, 2009:
We had a bit more breathing room, but not bad. We just needed to add a few more rows of bangles to the boob belt.
And of course, here’s our game day uniform:
Game face gear, with tails
And finally, home again, where our Air Force 2 met up with Big Guy’s Air Force Won at Andrews Air Force Base to hop our Marine Won helicopter limo back to the Big White.
Black, tie, and tails.
Big Guy had a historic day of his own: yesterday he stopped blaming George W. Bush openly for the failed economy. Having realized that the strategy’s “use by” date of efficacy had expired, he shifted the blame instead to Mitch McConnell and the rest of the racist, Islamaphobic, homophobes who make up the Republican party.
Hell-ooooo Cleveland! Wee are still the Won! uuhh, where’s TOTUS?
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