Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Nutrition and Economics: We Know More Than You Do

Lady M got right back to work yesterday: taking it to the NRA – that’s “National Restaurant Association” for those of you in fly-over. She really went after them for creating this nation’s fat behinds.

nraI’m telling you: less butter, cream and salt. For thee, not for me, because I’m smarter than you and therefore know how to make better choices.

And here’s a funny thing: it just dawned on me how much MO sounds like BO, especially when she takes TOTUS-too (T-t) along for her reads. Take yesterday: with T-t in tow, MO gave her Nutrition 101 lecture at the NRA meeting, calling the members out for making us all fat - because normal people don’t know anything about where calories hide.

big butt(Butt they do tend to know them when they see them)

“First, it’s important to reduce the number of empty calories that our families are consuming, calories that have no nutritional benefit whatsoever.  And believe me, I know this is easier said than done.  After all, we as humans, we are programmed to crave sugary, fatty, salty foods. And as people who work to meet those needs, I know it’s tempting to respond by creating products that are sweeter, richer and saltier than ever before.

But here’s the catch.  See, feeding those cravings does(n’t) just respond to people’s natural desires, it actually helps shape them.  The more of these foods people eat, the more they're accustomed to that taste, and after a while, those unhealthy foods become a permanent part of their eating habits.”

So you see, we’re all victims of the NRA.

Meanwhile, across the river, Big Guy did an impromptu drop-by in a Fairfax neighborhood (Congressmen Jim Moran, Gerry Connelly, the White House staff videographers and MSM cheerleaders just happened to drop by too).

And sure enough, the adjunct professor in Big Guy got the better of him, and he gave the group gathered there his Economics 101 lecture! Which was impressive, since he just got the script last week.

bova3Now, the challenge we have is, ironically, that if you start laying off a whole bunch of teachers, or a whole bunch of police officers or firefighters, now they don’t have a job, which means they spend less, which means that there’s less tax revenue.  And you start getting into a vicious, downward spiral.

See how BO was able to make this stuff simple enough for all of us to understand? Although I still don’t get what part of it is ironic. But that’s probably  next week’s lecture.

Anyway, as is Big Guy’s style when he leaves TOTUS behind, it was a full 65 minute class (and as is always the case, several of our students fell asleep). In addition to explaining everything that Big Guy knows about economics to these ordinary Americans who don’t even know how budgets work, he took the opportunity to point out who drove this economy into the ditch in the first place.

And this is an important point, so pay attention class: apparently our pollsters discovered that people are sick of hearing that the economy is Bush’s fault. So the new, reformulated Journo-list echo-chamber has decided that our new point man will be John Boehner: because he has lobbyist friends (oh,oh! If that’s illegal Charlie Rangel and Maxine Waters don’t stand a chance in their ethics hearings. Thank goodness, they aren’t till after the midterms), and he plays a lot of golf (do we really want to go there?). And beyond all that, as our old attack dog, Bob Schiffer,  pointed out on Face the Nation on Sunday, John Boehner still smokes!!!!  

Here’s Big Guy placing the blame for the economic mess where it belongs:

“John Boehner, who stands -- wants to be the Speaker -- the next Speaker of the House, if the Republicans take over, he specifically said, well, these are just government jobs and they're not worth saving.  And he fought -- he voted no on closing this tax loophole that was incentivizing jobs from going overseas.”

You’ll have to forgive BO’s unexpected inarticula-tatious-ness. He gets that way when he goes too long without a smoke.

Oh, and I forgot to get a full length snap of Lady M’s NRA outfit, but here is one from last year, with little Bah Bah Waters:

ht_michelle_barbara_091209_ssh Rachel Roy dress of roses and tweed. See why we didn’t do a full length this year?

Remember: Calories are those little bastards that the NRA hides in your food that get into your closet at night and shrink all  your clothes. Be on the look out.