Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Most Powerful Woman in the World Stumps for a Pack of Loser Pretty Boys

What a day! I ask you, does Lady M know how to play to her base, or what? We started with  a phone chat interview with Tom Joyner, a popular radio host with a country wide audience of Black “voters.” She encouraged the listeners to vote for Big Guy’s guys, and told his audience:

We put this man in office; we're all proud of Barack and his accomplishments," …Everybody I know in our communities are praying for us. Every day we feel that and let me just tell your listeners it means the world to us to know that there are prayer circles and people who want to keep the spirits clean around us."

Apparently they’ve heard the rumors about Granny R., which, by the way, are NOT true.


Then we were off to Sausage Town, to apply our platinum touch to Russ Feingold’s flagging candidacy. He was the first beneficiary of our FLOTUS, largesse, so he hadn’t better blow it.


For the flapping arms appearance we choose an “I’m just a regular American like you” fuchsia Jackie dress from Talbots, with one of our favorite St. Erasmus necklaces that cost way more than the dress.


mo hi res Big White Correspondence Dinner, 2009, back when the guns were battle ready

We probably could’ve used a couple more weeks in the gym before pointing those guns, but, to paraphrase Don Rumsfeld: you go to war with the guns you have… not the guns you might wish you have.

guns and roses

Whoa! Back in your damn seats! Nobody leaves!

From LA Times

When my husband was here in Wisconsin a couple of weeks ago, he talked about how independent and outspoken Russ is, and how Russ doesn't always agree with him. So Russ, you and I have a little something in common," the first lady joked.

Ha, ha. But let’s be clear: I’m the only one allowed to disagree with the Won, Rusty.

 booty shot Russ, Butt, MO & TOTUS jr.

Then it was off to our home town of the un-dead to put our pitch in for boy-toy Alexi Giannoulias, also lagging a bit in the polls right now. While most tickets were reasonably priced under $10,000,  some tickets to see the first lady were reportedly priced above $30,000. For that kind of juice, we changed our dress for something a little tighter, a little more formal and much more “persuasive.” And of course we wore our world famous Alaia boob belt: Out of the park. It’s always brought us good luck. We’re still kicking our self for not wearing it to Copenhagen.

Alexi thought she was wearing fushia 

boob beltsAlexi’s Admiration










Although Alexi is a long-time, uhh, “hoop buddy” of Big Guy’s, he wasn’t expecting Lady M to do all the heavy lifting alone. Ahead of the big fundraiser, Giannoulias was out greeting morning commuters as his campaign aides urged people to vote early. In Chicago, the “often” portion of that appeal is implied and need not be stated; just in case someone is taping your campaign message.

I understand that if Alexi loses (heavens forbid), he plans on opening a Coney stand. Apparently there’s always opportunities for another wiener in Chicago.